Submitted by Apprehensive-Step410 t3_1005w65 in relationship_advice
[22M] [21F] My girlfriend of 1 year has been having instagram conversions I am uncomfortable with. I recently seen messages on her phone from her ex, who she has been texting a considerable amount throughout our relationship (roughly 3 times a month, with a hell of a lot of text).
Her and her ex are in the same friend group for background and I did not like some of the text I read. A lot was cordial, but some was not (it’s obvious he wants something with or off of her). He has text numerous times after midnight asking where she was or if she was alone for example. She never engaged back to this type of text in a really flirty way, but what gets me is that she was still in the conversation and leading him on. She says she didn’t realise and that they’re just friends and it was just out of respect to text him back, but it hurt me pretty bad and makes me uncomfortable.
Another example occurred today when I seen messages from a guy she’s hooked up with in the past. He texts flirting and she responds, not being flirty back but being abrupt/witty kind of (in a way that maybe can be interpreted as interested + I don’t like the fact that she didn’t kill the conversation straight away).
All this being said, I’m uncomfortable with what she thinks is normal in a relationship and how she has text/ interacted with other dudes. I believe she would never cheat but we talked a lot about this in the last few days and about how it makes me feel.
I’m so confused and upset that this has led to some arguments. I feel toxic and stupid that I even had to bring this up, I just thought these were fundamental things not to do in a relationship.
I’m trying to be relaxed but I can help but feel insecure lately.
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