My boyfriend of 8 years just told me he has no intentions of proposing for at least another 2 years.

I feel really sad, conflicted, and just undeserving. He was always the one (coming from a Southern religious family) to bring up marriage, getting engaged once we’re clearly serious, and the importance of aiming for that goal.

He’s been saying for years that he’s going to propose soon, at one point a couple years ago he said it’s time I speak with my parents about it who are more reserved about me “marrying young” (I’m 26 now) which I did and it was slightly uncomfortable but I took it seriously. I even accidentally saw texts with his mom about ring ideas….

And now it’s just excuse after excuse about finances, having our careers be more stable, etc., which before I completely understood but then it really started to eat away at me and make panic like “if not now, then when?”. Finally today I really opened up to him and he was blunt. He said there are issues with our communication and problem-solving habits that aren’t fully healthy yet and he has no intentions of committing to me until those are fixed. Then he dropped the bomb…not for another 2 years. That felt like a slap in the face and honestly, arbitrary. I asked him, “did the issues exist years ago when you said it could be any day now?” He said “yes, but I thought they’d get better. And they haven’t”.

Any advice? I’m willing to work on what he wants me to work on but truth be told it feels like he’s waiting for perfection, or for me to be a different person.

Edit: Thanks for all of your thoughts, this really got more attention than I was prepared for. I need to clarify something based on the comments: HE DID mention these issues before and we have been working on them but are still struggling. We are in a financially difficult position sharing a studio apartment which has been a pressure cooker so there are other factors involved. The main point is, I would really like to have a set plan and reassurance that we still have the same goals and to not have to question is commitment (ring or not, it’s an emotional commitment im talking about)