Submitted by JabbaTheHack t3_zlvhua in relationship_advice
I am a theatre pedagog and I am very good at what I do. I also program show lights, work in a Computer science museum, ... I am self-employed and take every gig I can get but the hourly pay in my sector is low. My husband is a coder/programmer and he earns much more. I know his job is really hard but he never works as much time as I do but thinks he works more because he never really sees me work. He also plays video games with friends all the time, he never cleans the apartment, he washes dishes maybe 2 a month, he never washed clothes,... so all that is on me.
Every time I ask him to maybe do more chores I get that he provides for us, he also wanted me to quit what I do to paint our apartment when renovating since he is paying for most of it anyway,....
I am trying to learn how to code now because I want to be equal in this relationship and I feel I will never get there as long as he makes so much money and make a low-normal amount. He says that I can stop working because he has us covered but then he will never clean a plate ever and I don't want to become a miserable housewife.
Question: Do you think I should do all the house chores because he earn more and is paying like 70% of the bills?
He is really nice otherwise, just this topic makes me angry and sad and I don't know what to think so I asking for your help ❤️