Submitted by Apprehethrowaway348 t3_zmxqjt in relationship_advice
Me (25M) and my GF (24F) have been exclusive for about 3 months. The other night she asked me how I would feel about her selling her nudes. I asked a few follow-up questions-- to whom? how often? and to how many people?
She responded that before we had started dating, she used to sell her nudes to "friends of friends," specifically 2-3 people every month or so, and that they are reaching out to solicit more. I told her my gut reaction was that I wasn't comfortable with it, but that I was glad she asked me. I told her I would sleep on it.
Overall I think I'm fairly relaxed, and I want to have a strong relationship where we're both trusting enough that something like selling nudes wouldn't matter. I also have no prejudice against folks who sell their nudes in general. But my qualms with it are as follows:
- She's selling them to "friends of friends"-- people that she knows, and that she may see every once in a while (and people that I may see with her once in a while). It may put me on edge not knowing if someone I'm meeting is seeing her nudes.
- She doesn't need the money-- she has a very well-paying job. So it feels like she actually just wants to be able to send nudes to people (which I'm only alright with if its "transactional" in nature-- not if it's to get attention or to be sexual with another person)
As for advice from you all-- can you help me understand if my stance contradicts itself? Can I be both supportive and alright with selling nudes, but not okay with it in this context? Am I being fair to her? Also, do you all have any advice on how I could work through some of my un-comfortability with it? Like I said-- I want to give her the space to make decisions for her own body (I want to let her if she wants to), but I have to be honest with how I feel about it.
TLDR: GF wants to sell nudes. I'm not sure if my stance on it is a fair to her. And I'd like some help with how to work through it.
Thanks for your help.