Submitted by jackhammer891 t3_zoti7h in relationship_advice
I (M, 31) have a coworker (F, 24) who I have had a crush on since we started working together, which was about a year ago. Up to this point, nothing romantic had ever happened between us, and our relationship was only as work friends, although she knew that I had feelings for her. Last month my parents gifted me 2 tickets to the Blazers-Timberwolves game for my birthday, and instead of bringing along one of my friends, I asked her to go on a whim, and she agreed. We arrived at the arena, got some drinks and food, and found our seats. Everything seemed to be going great so far. A few minutes later, the empty seat next to my coworker is filled by a guy who looks to be around the same age as me, but is much taller, and looks to be in great physical shape. (For context I am only around 5’10 and in pretty average shape.) Instantly, he and my coworker are introducing themselves, and pretty quickly they seem to be wrapped up in conversation. I try multiple times to turn my coworker’s attention back to me, but she basically ignores me and talks to this guy pretty much the entire game. Towards the end of the game I overhear them talking about what sounds like plans for them to hangout after the game. Once the game ends, my coworker turns to me and tells me that her and this guy are going home together once she drops me off. (She is the one who drove, as she agreed to be my DD since it was my birthday.) When we get to the car, the guy sits in her front seat, and I ride in the back. They talk the entire ride back to my house, once we get to my house, my coworker thanks me for bringing her to the game, and I get out of the car. Just before closing the door to my house, I turned back to look at the car, and I see them making out. I did not hear her drive away for at least 5 more minutes, so I’m assuming they sat outside my house and made out for 5 minutes after dropping me off. I honestly do not know what to make of this entire situation. The entire date leading up to her meeting the guy seemed to be going really well, and I thought we were hitting it off pretty good. Overall I don’t feel like this date went very well. I’m wondering if you guys think is a salvageable relationship? Should I ask her on another date and try again? Any advice is appreciated.
Update: First off I want to thank everybody for the advice, I was a bit too overwhelmed to respond to people initially just because of the sheer number of responses I got. First I want to clarify that I DID specify that this was a date. When asking her, I told her that I’ve always liked her, and that I would like to hangout with her outside of work and get to know her better. I may not have used the word “date” when asking her to go, but it was pretty clear that we were going somewhere as two people who had mutual interest in each other. Now that that’s cleared up, my question is to everyone saying this isn’t salvageable or that she was never interested. If she was never interested, why did she agree to go on the date in the first place? Clearly there was some mutual interest between us. I feel like her behavior on the date could have been her trying to play hard to get, or maybe it was some sort of nervous reaction she had to the date? Who knows, but I definitely feel like there was mutual interest, and if I play my cards right, things could work out. I was thinking next time I could just invite her to my house, that way the chance of her meeting some other guy would be decreased, and it would allow us to be more personal. I feel that some of you guys are being unreasonable to say that this is unsalvageable. Crazier things have happened in the dating world.