Submitted by Angebracht t3_zp0988 in relationship_advice
My boyfriend and I are both 27-year-old men who have been dating for around 5 months.
Yesterday I had a nice date planned for us. We were going to drive into the city, eat at one of my favorite Italian restaurants, shop a little, then watch a movie before cooking dinner at home.
My boyfriend is the type to get "hangry" and irritable, so he usually eats something small before we leave the house (even when we're already going out to eat). But, for some reason, he skipped his small snack yesterday.
So we get to the restaurant. And, to our surprise, it's closed for renovations (despite Google saying it was open). I could feel the hangry clock ticking and I needed a solution quick. We hopped back in the car and drove uptown to another fine Italian restaurant. They had tables but it would be a 25-minute wait. Not too long for me, but who knows how Mr. Hangry is going to feel about this. He looks fine with it, so I confirm the table and its 25-minute wait.
We stand waiting for no longer than 2 minutes before I get the brilliant idea that we should check another Italian restaurant in the area that I know of very well. It was only 2 blocks away, and it's larger -- which means they might be able to seat us in less than 25 minutes. Before we got there, though, the restaurant texted us that our table was ready. So we turned around and continued with our original backup plan.
By the time we get to the table, my boyfriend is in complete distress by his hangriness. He can't bring himself to even say a word. He apologizes in advance for potentially being rude, and that he just needs to get some food in him. He asks where the bathroom was, but since the restaurant is a bit of a maze, he got annoyed at all the turns he would have to make. So I said "I'll take you to the bathroom, babe -- I need to go anyway, too."
We got back to our table together, and without hesitation, he asks, "Did we order yet?? 😩😩😩" We haven't ordered yet, of course. And now I'm feeling like taking him to the bathroom was a bad decision because otherwise I would have been able to order and fix this man's hunger even sooner.
My boyfriend starts to look at the menu, but due to his headache and hunger pangs, he puts it down and tells me, "Babe, just order for me. You know this place. I'll just have what you're having."
"Easy enough," I thought. I went ahead and ordered some of my favorite dishes from this restaurant.
When our waiter left the table, my boyfriend asked me rather snarkily, "Did you forget I wasn't eating cheese?"
Immediately, I begin apologizing for dropping the ball! I had totally forgotten. I told him to please order something else. We could call the waiter back and fix all this right now. My boyfriend said it's fine and that he'll eat cheese today -- that it's not such a big deal. I told him it's a big deal to me and since he's been helping me stick to my own diet recently, "I feel especially bad."
His response: "You should feel bad." And this is when things turned south. I was already apologizing for dropping the ball, offered solutions (which he declined), and was making me feel additionally bad on top of it all. He claims this comment was a joke, but I told him that there's no way I would have thought he was making a joke with the hangry attitude he's had leading up to this.
I started to cry at the table before asking for the check. I had to get out of that restaurant and into my car ASAP. How embarrassing.
I spent the whole day trying to do something nice for the both of us; and the whole thing, to me, feels ruined because my boyfriend can't control his attitude when he's hungry.
Did I really do such a bad thing by forgetting that my boyfriend was trying to stay away from cheese?