Submitted by throwrafpr t3_zp9daa in relationship_advice
I have 4 kids in total, 3 of them being quite young (9mths-5) and a 22-year-old son. I haven’t seen my son in 4 years. My son was a lot. There were constant issues and I didn’t know how to get through to him, and it worsened after he graduated high school. He decided to drop out of college after half a semester and throw his life away, and we were never okay after that. I got angrier with him as each day went by until it just snapped. I told him to move into the room upstairs, he said no, it was a big blowout and he left. I’ll be honest, I had a huge sense of relief once he left. As time went by, it started to really sink in that I no longer speak with my son.
I’m on a business trip far, and I went to a restaurant close to my hotel. I was enjoying breakfast this morning and my son’s picture popped up on the screen as the assistant manager. First off, he looks good and very healthy. I think I stared at that picture for at least 10 minutes. I asked one of the waitresses if he was in, and she said no, and that he’ll be in tomorrow. It just dawned on me that I found him by accident. I never went looking for him. How could I never go looking for him? I can't even believe that we got to a point where I decided it was better to not see him.
I want to see him again. I don’t want to try to justify any actions, I just want to see him. It'd be really nice to get some advice from people that relate to either my position or my son's. Really harsh words were exchanged the last time I saw him. Like if he decides he doesn't want to talk, do I just leave it there? If he decides he does want to talk, what do we talk about?