Submitted by ThrowRAsmorgy t3_zusfno in relationship_advice
I've (30M) been FWB with a woman (29F) for a couple months now, and we've been getting closer and hanging out more outside of hooking up.
A couple of days ago, she asked me if I would date her for real, in an exclusive relationship. I was already starting to feel the same way, so I was pretty happy to hear her say it.
But here's the kicker - she asked to wait until after she gets back from an upcoming trip in a couple weeks to start our real relationship...because she's going to be traveling to a different part of the country to see some old friends, where she is also planning to attend her first-ever orgy with a couple she knows (and hooked up with in the past).
She has already deleted all her dating apps and is not intending to meet anyone else new outside of that as a show of dedication and seriousness, but still really wants to do this trip.
There's a couple things bothering me that I am having trouble contending with:
- While I have always been open to and looked for similar things (threesomes, foursomes, etc), I have had zero luck with it. Men have a lot of unfair advantages in life, but not so much in that area. While I've always been successful with (singular) women, this makes me irrationally jealous that she gets to have this come pretty easily.
- She wants to be completely monogamous with me, which means she gets to have a completely wild experience and then that door is closed for me the second we start dating.
I realize jealousy is not an attractive quality but I'm struggling, especially with how much I like her. I fear it would sit and fester in my mind for the entirety of the relationship.
Has anyone been in this situation before? How did you deal with your thoughts on it?