Submitted by AITA_throwaway_1077 t3_zv8eps in relationship_advice
My ex GF (now 31) and I (now 33) were together for nearly 5 years. I didn’t cheat or anything catastrophic, I just wasn’t a great or attentive partner in general. She was my first serious relationship and I really undervalued everything this woman did for me and us. In March 2021, she basically gave me an ultimatum that involved her moving 3k miles away to the other coast. I let her leave and told her I thought she was crazy for moving away from every person she knew.
We had split once for a few months for a lot of the same reasons she ultimately left me for and she basically accused me of holding her future hostage. I thought she was insane at the time despite knowing I consistently didn’t prioritize her and was a lazy partner.
I thought when we broke up that I wouldn’t have an issue dating again, but that has not been the case. In the last 20 months I have not met a single soul that holds a candle to her - she is so funny, smart, beautiful, likable, has an amazing family, a great career, and really is the whole package. I am kicking myself for letting “the one” go. I haven’t clicked with anyone, because I often find myself comparing them to her. To be honest, after the first few months, I’ve been pretty miserable. I didn’t think it was going to be like this.
She has seemingly not had the same experience (gathered from Instagram and our mutual friends). She met a guy on her first day there. They live together, they adopted a puppy, and she by all accounts looks happy. I just heard through the grape vine the guy asked for her dad’s permission to propose on a ski trip to Chamonix. I just feel like this should’ve been me.
I can’t stop thinking about her and I feel like if I don’t act now - there is no chance I will ever get her back. I’m prepared to buy a plane ticket and beyond that I haven’t really thought this through.
Am I being crazy?