Submitted by ThrowRAverymuch t3_zwn82z in relationship_advice
We've been together for 5 years and living together for 3 years in my apartment. He's caring, thoughtfull and more loving than i ever hoped someone would be with me.
For the past two years he's been at his first job and resented it. This job took a stroll on his mental health and it lead him to develop depression and be unmotivated in finding a new one. One day in August he called me to tell me he quit his job, which I am not going to lie, made me feel a little sad because he hasn't consulted me before, but I supported his decision because I knew that job was sucking the life out of him. He was also eager on having more time for finding a new better job.
Forward to now, he has been jobless for almost 3 months and has not applied to a single new job yet. Generally, he's even more depressed now than before. He does basic house chores and spends most of his day on reddit. His savings have dried up so I support us now. Still, my fulltime and part-time jobs added are honestly not enough for both of us to live confortably.
Issue is, there had been a few job opportunities in his field that I found and shared with him these months. He was excited for a moment and said he would apply but never did. He also doesn't want to involve me in his (inexisting) process of finding a job or talk to me about his issues.
He is extremely sad and I tried everything in the book to make him feel better: be supportive, take him on walks, confort him, even be naggy at times. Nothing works. I offered to pay for therapy but he didn't accept.
I don't know how to help him and while I hate myself for it, I am becoming resentful too. I am tired all the time from my jobs and seeing him doing nothing to help out our situation financially is starting to get to me.
I don't know what to do to and how to help him.