Submitted by fulpow t3_zy2r95 in relationship_advice
I am a 40 years old HLM with LLF wife and a 5 years old kid , close to getting a divorce because: lack of respect, sex and appreciation.
Told her cant take it anymore like this, had a big fight and she said divorce instead of trying to repair whatever 10% it is chance, I accepted her decision, will start the procedure in January which will take about 6 months.
I asked her what is the no 1 reason for her frustration and gave her my reason as example, feeling disrespected.
She said I don't help her with anything, now bare in mind the real situation:
I am the only providing financially, she is just tapping with the phone which is fine for me!
I am paying and taking care of all the bills, rent, gas, electric, etc!
I am washing my own clothes, put them in the washing machine, dry them and back to wardrobe!
I sleep in a separate bedroom, clean my own room, make my own bed, etc.
Sometimes I clean after my kid, like toys!
I spent time with my kid, just me and him.
I take care of the garbage!
I always initiate the food order process, online account! I organize things, reminders and take notes for what is missing, needs to be done, bought, etc
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I don't do dishes, we have a dishwasher but I always wash my own dishes after finishing eating! I don't cook, but for the my part I order online when she already cooked in that day!
I don't clean the rest of the house, I admit, but we don't live in a castle!
Our kid is going to school M to F 9am to 3pm!
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I mean, what is the conversion rate optimal for a wife for her to able to say 'my husband helps me around the house' please advise! I am just curious!
Is the lack of dishes such a big turn off for a wife? You can not see the rest of the other good stuff?
From my point of view I do more than enough!
Thanks
UPDATE!
OMG, I had no idea so much frustration exist online with different people, I was just trying to get another perspective about my situation.
For me this is WOW.
Obviously I am not perfect, nobody is.
But to see all these reactions from women it only gave me a more clear direction and I thank you for that.
2nd UPDATE!
This is crazy
After I read hundreds of comments I made my own conclusion:
70% of the comments were pure reactionary 7 out of 10 , straight to my throat, trying to put me down.
Maybe a vision from my post triggered a gut reaction based on fear and insecurities
I do not like these reactions at all
20% of the comments were somehow with respect 2 out of 10 and a basic foundation to create a proper understanding and giving undivided attention to details.
You have my deepest respect and my appreciation
10% of the comments were absolutely spot on 1 out of 10, showing moral respect, again undivided attention to details, gave me the benefit of doubt, sympathy and empathy. All these combined with a logical structure view of points
You are the real QUEENS! and I BOW before you
You are the reason I have high hopes, you show the way how things should be You can make the ugliest thing in something shine and beautiful Your kids will transform the world in a better way, because our kids are raised by mothers mind and not the body
I am so happy I got the validation
For all the men who showed support, it felt a bit like in the 300 is it not, I SALUTE YOU
Thank you all