Submitted by ThrowRA_deppills t3_zy8lxn in relationship_advice
Throwaway and on mobile.
My GF [f25] and I [F23] have been together for a yearand a half, living together for 5 months. She makes me very happy. Despite that, I was diagnosed with depression a few months ago and was given Lexipro. I’ve been doing very well on it and the meds plus mindfulness practices have really helped me with my depression/anxiety. I don’t have a lot of side effects, but one is that my libido went down, which I actually thought was kind of nice, since I’m not as horny all the time (sorry if TMI) and I can just chill some nights.
Previously I would always initiate with my GF every night we stayed together before moving in and nearly every night since moving in together. Her libido wasn’t as active so I got shot down a lot, which was fine. My GF is also a self-proclaimed pillow princess so I’m pretty used to getting myself off anyway so it was never a big deal. I’d also like to add that she almost never initiates sex; I can think of a handful of times.
Yesterday she told me that she’s noticed that I’ve not been asking as often (I’m down to once or twice a week, which is about how often we have sex anyway) and she was wondering if I found her unattractive or some other factor. I assured her it wasn’t that, and explained that I’m fairly sure it’s the depression meds. I didn’t think it would be a huge issue- our sex drives kinda match now- but she was upset. She says she’s hurt and even thinks I should stop taking the meds. I told her I didn’t want to, I feel better mentally now than I have in years but she says mindfulness exercises plus therapy should be enough. I admitted I got annoyed (she’s always been anti-meds and likes to get on my back when I take any, even for headaches or colds) and told her that if she wants, she can initiate or we can make a schedule and she says that’s not the point. She started ranting that my meds are clearly bad if they’re changing me this much and that she likes to be wanted. The argument escalated from there and I ended up staying at my parents.
I don’t know what to do. I know compromise is important in a relationship but I don’t want to compromise my mental health. I also won’t lie, I’m annoyed that she turned me down so much but is now complaining that I’m not initiating all the time. We have a great relationship otherwise. What I can I do to make her see my side in this?
TLDR: GF is upset my anti-depressants have decreased my libido and is demanding I stop taking them
Edit: thanks for all the support 💗 I’ve decided to stay with my parents until we can have a serious convo about everything.