Submitted by ThrowRAtrythis t3_zzkfj1 in relationship_advice
Okay so when I (f25) met my bf (m28) 4 years ago I was really in deep with my bulimia and anorexia. I wasn’t eating anything except spinach smoothies/microwaved chicken breast. I was throwing up and taking laxatives and going to the gym 2x a day.
I had 0 fat on my body and I wasn’t that good at being anorexic (ha ha sarcasm) because it never got so bad that I lost significant muscle mass. I looked like I was doing an extreme cut so just very skinny and defined muscle. My bf loved my body and called it ideal. He didn’t know about my disordered eating at all. Around 3 years into the relationship I told him that during that time I was really struggling with the disordered eating and I only really told him because he kept commenting on what I ate. Like if I ate some chocolate he would say ‘why would you eat that? You better not get fat that’s all I’m saying’ . I told him to stop because it fucks with my head. I eat the chocolate because it’s better and healthier for me to eat it than to slip back into old habits. Bare in mind I have a fantastic body. Im a uk size 8 and I go to the gym regularly.
Anyway he’s gotten better at the food comments but now he’s making comments about my ass saying how it’s not as big as it was before (when I was disorder eating). I told him I didn’t want my life to revolve around getting a huge ass which is what it takes for me to get one because I’m naturally skinny. I think I have a great ass but sorry it’s no serena Williams.
Now every time he grabs my ass he makes a comment about how it’s squishy and not musclely anymore. I told him to stop multiple times and that it was a conscious decision I made to go to the gym to improve my health as opposed for vanity reasons. But he kept on making comments every other day and when I firmly told him to stop he just went quiet.
Is this just how men are? He’s my first boyfriend and idk if men just behave this way? Like being ‘honest’ even if it’s rude and inconsiderate??? I basically just want to know if I’m with an asshole or an idiot?
———- Edit I have also had full body laser hair removal and one time I saw one hair on my leg that had survived and I thought it was funny and showed him this one lone leg hair and he was disgusted like ‘why would you show me that’. It’s just hard to not feel judged physically by him. I think he has his own body issues and he is projecting them onto me. He is very conscious of how he looks even though he is very handsome and when he doesn’t feel like he looks good he gets quite depressed. I don’t take it lightly or think he’s being vain because when I felt ‘fat’ I would literally want to kill myself so… anyway he clearly has some body dysmorphia.