Submitted by ThrowRA-Williams t3_zzxh3y in relationship_advice
We have tried to get pregnant for more than a year, which is not that easy at our age. We took advice from the GP on how to achieve it, and I've had my semen examined. In the end it just worked out naturally.
Because it was last month that she found out she's pregnant. Of course, my first reaction was disbelief, joy and also nerves, afraid for what is to come.
Her reaction, however, was panic, sadness and depression.
She talked to me, saying she had just before that decided to not want to get pregnant anymore, because she had some issues with me, with our relationship. She needed more space for herself.
I listened to her concerns, including concerns about me, how sometimes I can act a little impatient when something doesn't work (like on the computer). This issue is, in my opinion, a small one, but I agreed to work on it. We agreed to live separate for about 2 weeks, separate, under the same roof though. It worked quite well. In the meanwhile I tried to work on myself. Self improvement is of course something very hard, and although I feel I actually made some major progress, I'm also aware this can be an illusion. Like an alcoholic who keeps saying he's got it under control now. On the other hand though, my issue isn't as serious as an alcoholic. But well.
We met again with the GP after this period of distance. There she announced she wanted to have an abortion. It was a shock to me, and also to the GP. The GP (also a lady btw), told us, she might make a rash decision, so it's better to postpone it. While it was postponed, I felt really bad about the whole situation. I was really angry and sad. But somewhere deep inside me I just knew she was not going to have the abortion, that she would reconsider. The next week at the GP she was still adamant about having the abortion.
I went with her to the abortion clinic, I had promised her, and myself, that I was going to support her no matter her decision. Still, it was really difficult, I struggled, I couldn't support her, even if I wanted to. She saw my concerns and on the very last moment decided to postpone it once more. The coming 2 weeks were to be a test of our relationship, whether I had improved, or whatever that may mean. The next two weeks went perfect, and I didn't even have to try, I had simply made mental progress, was a step further in my life, in many ways. She also noticed this, and was pleased.
She still went on with the abortion. In the last discussion we had about it, I told her that at least this time she is making a 100% rational decision, not under influence of hormones, or panic, or what not.
I wish I could accept it, but I can't. I've also been writing in my private journal, summing up a few things, concluding there doesn't seem to be much left for us. She never shows interest in my creative activities, our sex is below mediocre, and now we do not share a vision for us as a family. Despite the fact that she is a fantastic woman (she really is), I feel I've reached the point that I need to break up with her. But before doing so, I just had to get this off my chest, and I wonder if any comments might shed a different light on the situation.
Ps. Throwaway account.