BF (m36) GF (F30) lazy sex

Submitted by Friendly-Ad-6058 t3_10prxvj in relationship_advice

I feel like my boyfriend is selfish in bed or worse lazy. Most of the time I would initiate, do the foreplay and even flirt with him. He doesn’t talk during sex at all or do much foreplay, he’d go down on me once or max twice a month. when I’m on top he barely touches me only my thighs and closes his eyes. He isn’t kissing or touching my boobs. Nothing when I’m on bottom too.. he doesn’t even try to play with my clit. I feel so insecure about my body now because of this, I srsly hate my boobs and I feel like I never want to turn the light on when we are having sex. I found myself so many times fantasising about him touching me or touching my boobs while having sex. I started shutting down after sex and just feeling uncared for.

I love him a lot but I’m constantly irritated by this. I feel like I deserve someone who shows me how much he desires me. Someone who can kiss my neck or boobs, who can be spontaneous and engaged.

I can’t talk to him or he’ll get angry and stressed. He shuts down and starts being sad and I feel so guilty about it. I don’t know how to talk to him but this is making me feel so sad and unwanted.

My bf lives in my flat, I gave him a room so he can have his space. My flat is closer to his work, I know he would love to help me but I don’t want to stress him financially. I take care of cleaning the place and his cloth and help out with food. He basically just (works/showers/eat) and he recently takes the trash.

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bezrodnyi-kosmopolit t1_j6m210w wrote

Alright the first half, you clearly need to talk to him. The second half, he’s a bum. You’re taking care of a bum. No wonder he’s lazy in bed, he’s lazy throughout. He isn’t contributing to rent? Does he makes pennies compared to you?

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Friendly-Ad-6058 OP t1_j6m2hzv wrote

I make way more than he does and my rent is very high. He says he spends a lot and doesn’t get to save anything.

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Friendly-Ad-6058 OP t1_j6m2n69 wrote

I also don’t know how to talk to him, he just shuts down and stays quite and that makes me nervous

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Sensitive-Honey t1_j6mh33g wrote

this man sounds trash. you’re giving him a roof over his head, looking after him and he can’t even sling his neck and give some good head? girl, you and your pay check deserve way more than this sack of potatoes. think of how much happier you could be in a years time if you leave him and find someone who is way more suited to you in every way. he will fully just sit back and continue to let this happen, don’t let him! he’s comfortable and you should rip the rug from under his feet.

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Majestic-General7325 t1_j6milgy wrote

It really sounds like he can't have adult conversations about adult things like sex and money. He's an adult, he should be able to.

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