Submitted by farawayitthrow t3_102csu7 in relationship_advice
Update here
Mia (32F) and I (32F) met in college and were best friends ever since. Mia was always very family-oriented and romantic, even when she was a kid. Her ultimate life dream is to have a big, happy family. Sadly, Mia had very difficult childhood - she lost her entire family (younger sister and both parents) from ages 10 to 12. She was in the system for a while until her abusive uncle took her in. Obviously, Mia was/is very mentally unwell and just a few months ago she managed to get off her meds and stopped going to therapy.
Mia and her husband Rick (34M) are together for 2 years now and married for 6 months. Imo, it was all a bit rushed but Mia was getting scared she won't be able to have children if she waited and, to be honest, Rick seemed to be her perfect match. She was aware things are going faster than she initially wanted but reassured me that her and Rick are on the same page. It's her life after all, so if she's happy, so am I. Rick and I neither love nor hate each other, he's my friend's husband so at best we "tolerate" one another. We don't have any common interests and our lifestyles/life goals are different.
Fast forward to the NYE, Mia and Rick organized a party and invited me and my partner (31M) to join. Everything seemed fine, Rick and I were chatting with some friends when I decided to go outside to breathe in some fresh air since the house was very crowded. Rick followed few minutes later, we casually talked about some irrelevant things when he suddenly says he's in love with me. I thought it's one of his stupid jokes and I was totally blindsided by it so I just laughed, joked back and hoped he will drop it. Sadly, he just doubled down and got visibly upset, started saying how he doesn't want to spend another year unhappy and how being with Mia is exhausting because of her trauma and he "deserves better than that". At this point I got very nauseous and just wanted to get away from it all so I I told him he has no idea what he's saying and we will talk once he gets his shit together.
Mia and Rick are trying for a baby so I obviously have to tell her ASAP. The thing is - I have no idea how to do that. How do you approach a person to tell her the best part of her life is a lie? How do you address something like this with a person who spent vast majority of her life on anti-depressants and being suicidal? I don't even know if she'll believe me. I also don't want to lose her as a friend but I can't watch her be all happy and giddy about him when I know he doesn't even fucking respect her. There are times I think to just ignore it all and never mention it but I know that isn't right.
Tldr: my best friend lost her entire family, was abused by her uncle, and struggled with mental health since she was a kid. Her husband she's very much in love with confessed his feelings for me few days ago and I don't know how to tell her without causing her more pain.