Submitted by [deleted] t3_1044hds in relationship_advice
Me F18 and my cousin F20 are pretty close so i told her private things about me, so yesterday, me and my cousin and I met up and I told her that i am dating my friend. Who is now my boyfriend M24. She asked me how me and my boyfriend met. So i told her the whole story
Me and J have been dating for a month now. I mentioned to my cousin how J is my first time. That he was so good at it since he's been into a long term relationship before. J treats me so, pays for almost everything since he's an Engineer and makes a lot of money. he's good with emotional support and we get along with each other with the same humor and chemistry (he said that to me)
Story: me and J (my bf) met online (i won't go much into the details) but me and J got close and we talk every single day, for months while at this time i developed a feeling for him. We've always been quite flirty with each other but nothing for that. For context i was 15yo when i met J who's 22yo. In my country (i won't say what for private reasons) it's legal for me and J to be in a relationship. But at that time we're just friends..until i did something and i tried to seduce him. Make him want me since i have a huge crush on him. And to my surprised he reciprocate so I started doing that for weeks. Yes i have daddy issue. And he knows i like older men and more. And we became fwb online. At this time we've never meet each other personally. This is all online.
So when I turned 18, which is a month ago. I took a train to meet him to his European country. Next to the country that i am living in. Just fyi I'm Asian he's White. I know he has a thing for Asian girls.
My family knows about J and don't care about our age gap. At this time since we've known each other for 2 years and months, there's still several months for J before he turns 25. We decide to date. My family are supportive of it, they always want me to date an older man who's more well establish financially.
But my cousin F20 is mad at me and won't talk to me unless i break up with my boyfriend because she thinks that he's just playing with me and is just using me. But i don't believe that because J never forced me anything i was the one who initiated with everything tbh. J loves me, he spoiled me and treats me so well and he knows how to get me going. He's the kind of man i need and want in life.
How do i explain to my cousin that i will not break up with my boyfriend over some assumptions that she makes? While also i want to mend the relationship i have with my cousin?
Edit: i wanted to be clear that i just had a crush on him when i talked to him for a few weeks this was just flirting the fwb happened when i was 16 and it's legal in my country and to his country as well but stopped the fwb when I'm close to 17 when I turned 17 it was nothing but flirts. When i 18yo moved next to a country next to his. That's where he invited me so he could show me around. And that's where i got to spend time with him in his apartment. No he doesn't have asian fetish. He'd only dated white women before. For the people confused. The reason i texted him in the first place is because i thought he was pretty attractive and he lives a few hours away from the european country I was about to migrate ( i have family members who live there and want to take me to finish my college) since I'm curious to Western culture he's the one who's enthusiastic enough to share with me everything.
Msg: i want to thank all the people that have been supportive. I appreciate all of you and i read all your messages. As for now i am rethinking the relationship I've had with him i know it's weird and it makes me feel something now. But J told me we'll just forget about it because it's weird for him too.