Submitted by PursuitOfHapiness t3_104vau1 in relationship_advice
First of all, to give you some context, we were together for 2 years, i broke up with her 2 months ago and we are now trying to get back together since the beginning of this month.
Although the social media thing was not necessarily the reason why i broke up with her, it was always one of the reasons why we had a lot of fights. I have tried to explain to her many times that i don’t like social media and i don’t feel comfortable with the idea of exposing myself on it. She thinks that i don’t do it because i don’t like her and i am not proud of her, therefore she isn’t worthy of being shown.
However that isn’t the case at all, i’ve never ever exposed myself on social media, i only use it to chat with people and that’s literally the only reason, i only have published 2 photos in my entire life and both are 5 years old.
I have had other relationships in the past and my posture was the same but still she doesn’t believe it.
She says that i don’t love her because true love is posting pictures with her on social media without her asking me to do so and commenting cute things on her posts and reposting her pictures…..
I sincerely am unable to understand this because i know what i feel and i know for sure that what i feel isn’t defined by what i do or don’t do on social media.
She is now saying that she will give up on us if i don’t change this.
I would very much appreciate your thoughts on this, thank you.
EDIT: Thank you all very much for your comments and insights, it is helping me to see a lot of things more clearly. If you’re still interested on this matter, i would like to give you all some further context on why i got back to her:
She could not accept that i broke up with her and so she did a lot of things in order for me to notice that. She started consuming drugs and this was very shocking to me because she was super “pure” with these things before. She texted me a lot of times saying that she wanted to die and that she couldn’t live without me, and her friends were constantly texting me and asking me to go back to her telling me how bad she was.
This of course was touching to me because even though i broke up with her we were together for a considerably long time and i care and worry about her even if i’m not with her anymore.
I tried to help her while at the same time staying faithful to the decision i took but she could not accept this…
She then proceeded to do more and more to catch my attention, she started talking to a friend of mine in a not so innocent and friendly way (i hope you understand what i mean cause i don’t really wanna talk about this again) and showed me the conversation afterwards. I was so angry and sad at the same time, by the time this happened i was already emotionally drained, i was exhausted and i had no idea on how to deal with all this, i said a bunch of mean stuff to her and she started sending me nudes and trying to seduce me which left me even more frustrated cause i only felt disgusted by her after all that happened.
I feel really really ashamed by what happened next but it did happen so no point in pretending it didn’t, i haven’t told this to anyone until this moment so it helps me to put things out here.
In some sadistic and sick way, some days later, i started to feel sexually attracted by her once again, the feeling was very weird and unlike anything else i’ve ever experienced, deep down i knew i shouldn’t give her that and most of the attraction i felt was in form of anger i think, but i think that because of all of this and everything that happened the feeling was made stronger.
Anyways, i don’t need to give you more details, you probably figured out by now.
So i was with her again and it was really intense but in the end i could only feel empty and depressed cause deep down i knew i betrayed myself out of sexual pleasure, this really broke me because i like to think i am a person with a strong moral code and strong values and i betrayed myself and everything i believe in for a girl that has only given me reasons to suffer in recent times.
And now i’m here, i know i shouldn’t keep on doing this but she pressures me so much i honestly don’t know what to do anymore, she was always a bit emotionally unstable and dependent on me and i think that somehow that passed on to myself and i feel really lost and confused.
Once again i would really appreciate your thoughts on this and sorry for the long text.