Submitted by ThrowRA_anniegone t3_1069a3k in relationship_advice
My bf and I have been together for three years. I (23F) have endometriosis and a few other problems going on with me. My bf (30M) constantly tries to have sex with me without stimulation. Now this is my first time posting here so stick with me.. okay so for those who don’t know, endometriosis is where your uterine lining grows outside the inside of your uterus. Like on the fallopian tubes on the ovaries etc.. now it’s different for everyone but I, unfortunately, experience pain during sex. (And pain just being alive but the worst pain during sex) The only way to not be in so much pain when this happens is for me to be stimulated first. So I’m sorry if this is TMI but it feels best if I come first before anything else happens. I try to not be so annoying about it because I’ve always felt like well maybe I’m being a bit of a baby. Also my bf will NOT go down on me unless I’ve taken a shower at most a few hours before hand. So sometimes when he wants it but I haven’t showered he just does it without stimulation. It hurts! Now this morning we had sex after the shower and it was great he went down on me I did same to him but then just now after dinner he was begging me to come lay down. We did and he just went in for it and I pushed him back to tell him I didn’t want that unless he got me off first. He sat up and said I did that to you this morning. “I know you did baby but I’m already in a little pain now and know I wouldn’t like this without you know” he got super upset saying I led him on to think I was going to have sex with him but “pulled this stunt” I told him I felt used when he doesn’t care about me being in pain from that and he told me to shut up and left the room. I texted him soon after and told him he should look at it in my prospective since I have disorder and cannot help the way I feel. And I feel used when he wants to just do the thing for himself and not make me feel comfortable in the process. He told me that he went down on me this morning so nothing will ever good enough for me. and that I need to look at it through HIS prospective because I got his hopes up for sex but turned him down. Now what do I do? I’m feeling so sad and so used… I’d really appreciate some advice on this. Thanks!