Submitted by mimikyumom t3_106nt24 in relationship_advice
i (19f) have a stepdad (55m) who is pretty cool. he married my mom back in 2020 after they’d been dating for a few years, and honestly i don’t think she could’ve found a better person. he takes care of my mom & makes her happy, puts food on our table, he makes quite a bit of money so we don’t have to worry anymore (and has managed to take our family on vacations that i would’ve never dreamed of experiencing), and is just all-around an enjoyable presence.
now for some context: my parents divorced when i was 7, and my dad remarried (added a stepmom and much-older stepbrother into the picture) when i was 11. i won’t go into detail, but the stepfamily caused me to develop PTSD and a serious fear of touching men in my family. because of that, the thought of physically touching my stepdad makes my brain shudder. i only did it on my own accord once - i mustered up my courage and gave him a handshake - but the immediate panic and icky feeling afterwards were not fun.
TO CLARIFY: i’m not asking for help with my trauma - it’s already being worked on and my stepdad is very aware of it. i’m only asking for what i can do to show him my appreciation. any other advice is unneeded, but i appreciate the concern!
so, TLDR: i want to show my stepdad that i appreciate him. i already say ‘thank you’ way too much, and a simple hug isn’t an option (i feel like a thank-you involving physical contact would show him i really mean it, but i sadly just can’t)… what do y’all suggest?