Submitted by ThrowRA_202301090223 t3_107214w in relationship_advice
TLDR; the thing I enjoy most in life is reading, learning, visiting museums, etc.; my girlfriend seems uninterested, and has never read a book in her life, saying that she sees it as a waste of time. I'm worried about potential conflict in the future.
First of all, I want to clarify that in the title by "intellect" I mean intellectual style, or appetite for knowledge, love of reading, or something like that. I just wasn't sure how to phrase it correctly in the title.
Anyway...
We've been dating for around 4 months.
So far, our conversations have been pretty standard, talking about childhood, school, college, family, travelling, work, future plans etc. However, I've come to realize that there is one huge point of difference between us. I'm no genius, but I am a curious person, and nothing brings me more pleasure than acquiring knowledge, reading books, visiting museums, learning about history, science, philosophy, art, etc. I love having knowledge on various topics and learning more and more, and to me that is one of the most important things in life.
My girlfriend however recently admitted to me that she's never read a book in her life unless it was a school or college textbook, and that she sees reading books as a waste of time, and does not understand why people do it. Her knowledge about basic topics is extremely limited. Whenever we get to a more academic topic and begin a conversation about politics, geography (we're from different countries), history, etc. it quickly emerges that her knowledge is extremely limited, and what bothers me most is that this doesn't bother her at all.
Right now we're in the early stages, so every time we see each other it's all very cute, we kiss, we cuddle, we walk through the park holding hands and taking pictures, but I'm really concerned now whether we'll have anything to talk about a few months down the line. I am only looking for a serious relationship, and so is she, and I would hate to waste her time and mine if our differences are irreconcilable.
I'm starting to worry that it might turn out that we have basically no shared interests. At this point, I'm not even sure what she does in her spare time. She's never seen the Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Jurassic Park, Jaws, Gladiator, The Dark Knight... I could go on and on. She's never even heard of most of these. Most popular movies and TV shows you can name, she's never seen or heard of. As I said already, she's never read a book. She doesn't listen to much music either. I don't understand how that's possible.
I really like this girl, she's cute, she clearly likes me a lot, she's sweet, she's precious, she's also looking for a serious relationship, but this difference between us is becoming more and more apparent.
She's not stupid either. She's intelligent. But she just could not care less about learning anything, knowing anything, and finds it downright ridiculous that anyone would ever waste their time reading books. If she doesn't know about a topic, she isn't bothered, and will never ask about it, and doesn't intend to ever find out the correct information. She's ignorant about a lot of things, and she's perfectly comfortable with that. This is the complete opposite attitude from mine; I hate not knowing something, and will stay up at night sometimes researching a topic because not knowing about it bothers me so much.
I know that she would never demand or expect that my interests would change, so that's not a worry. But I am concerned that I will quickly grow bored with her, and that if I keep noticing how little knowledge she has, and how little she cares for broadening her horizons, when for me it's the most important thing in life, I may eventually start losing respect for her. I would hate for that to happen.
Does anyone have similar experiences?
Ideally I'd love for her to change, to pick up a book, to express an interest in my interests, but I don't know if she'd be willing to change.
I appreciate and welcome any advice