Submitted by ThrowRA1000001111117 t3_109h133 in relationship_advice
Throwaway account.
My girlfriend (23F) caught me (23M) masturbating in our computer room.
For some context, our sex life is pretty minimal as she isn't a very sexual person- so we may have sex 2-3 times a month. Second, she knows I have a very big female domination fetish, which she doesn't want to explore with me since she says it doesn't turn her on.
As such, I've used porn to enjoy my fetish and have release when it can be a while in between sex for us. I've never been caught doing this until recently. As soon as she walked in, she just had a stunned smile (she was high) and went to bed. I tried to get her to talk about it then and there and told her my reasons why, but she was still hurt by it.
I don't feel like I did anything wrong, I have my wants/needs, and instead of cheating or leaving her, I use porn. At the same time, she was/is obviously hurt by it, and I feel guilt.
How do I proceed in this situation with her?
Edit: she did say when we were I'm bed afterward that she understood my reasons, but knowing her for 4 years I could tell she wasn't happy
Edit 2: Thanks to everyone who commented, I didn't imagine this would blow up as it did. I went with the least extreme advice, and I talked about it .aming sure she understood it has nothing to do with my attraction to her. with her, and so far, she seems to be fine with it. I will be leaving this throaway account now.