Submitted by Probablyjustbitchin t3_10bajgz in relationship_advice
To preface, my (30f) husband (30m) has always had a fascination with butts. He watches a lot of anal porn, and always very touchy on my butt. I have no interest, but have given it a go for his sake. We have done anal, which was OK, but not really my cup of tea. We have always had a great sex life, but recently it's felt that if anal isn't involved, he's not very into it.
The other night my husband tried fingering himself and really enjoyed it. He is very interested in me pegging him, or even being the centre of a threesome. He is adamant that he is not gay, and has never shown any interest in men sexually.
I really don't want any of this, and am worried we are becoming sexually incompatible. We have two young children together, and otherwise our marriage is amazing. I don't know what to do, and am looking for any advice from people who have been in similar situations.
INFO Yes, when he said 'middle of a threesome', he meant MMF. My biggest fear isn't that he's gay, it's that if we start to explore this avenue, it will become our default. I would peg him if it was a once or twice a year thing, but I don't think it will be. We used to have amazing, passionate sex until he introduced anal play. Now if anal play isn't involved he loses his erection. I'm worried that if we explore this road, it'll be all that he wants, despite the fact that it does nothing for me. I'm worried that if we don't explore this road, he may eventually end up seeking other avenues.
Honestly, I like sex, I LOVE sex, but I'm a SAHM to two children under three and I'm studying full-time online. I'm TIRED. At the end of the day I just want some quick sex with my husband before passing out. I don't want to have to bring out a range of toys to make him stay hard when I don't get any pleasure out of it.
UPDATE
Talked to my husband. He was horrified that he'd made me feel this way, and swore that he loved vaginal sex too, he just got turned on by doing the forbidden. He told me that he will take a break from porn, and not push anything that I don't want to do. That our relationship is more important than anything in the world to him. We're going to work on our communication. Thanks for the advice, and fuck all the creeps sending me messages asking for butt pics. I'm 30 with two small kids, what do you think my butt looks like?