Submitted by tra673628 t3_10bf90r in relationship_advice
I (21f) got into a pretty big argument with my boyfriend (22m) a week or so ago. Long story short, I got high with some friends and he was mad that I smoked. I didn’t realize he was so against it, we got in a huge spat, and it was pretty ugly. He didn’t talking to me for a day and when he finally did it was just to say that he was disgusted with me and felt sick any time he thought of me. He said he wanted space, I backed off for a few days, and eventually he came around and we were able to smooth things out.
The first day we were hanging out again we eventually had sex. Normally we get a bit rough, nothing crazy though. Spanking, very light breath play, your standard step up from vanilla. There was something really off putting though this time. It hurt more than normal, I guess? Like it normally hurt a little, obviously, but there was nothing pleasurable about the pain this time. He was aggressive in a really unsettling way and it felt like he was doing it more to get revenge than out of a sexual desire, if that makes sense. Honestly it scared me, I’ve never felt like that when we’ve had sex. I actually started crying a little, but I don’t think he noticed. I haven’t brought it up to him. How should I approach this?