Submitted by throwRAeva749 t3_10cinzz in relationship_advice
Hi everyone my first post is here. My brother in law Jacob (39m) cheated on my older sister Gwen (38f) with my best friend Ellie (21f) after 10 years. We found out when Gwen found texts on Jacob’s phone from Ellie talking about how she was pregnant.
My sister is still really upset. She’s not doing well at all. The kids all have a really good relationship with Jacob so that didn’t make it easier. They were asking about him constantly and crying for him. She went back home 2 days ago, she’s living in the main part of the house and he’s living in the garage apartment.
My sister asked me to talk to Ellie. To find out as much of her side as we can. She is pregnant and apparently her and Jacob have been “dating” a while. He told her my sister had had a drinking problem and was emotionally abusive to him and the kids. I told her that was all a lie and of she really thought that was true why wouldn’t she talk to me about it?? She said she thought I’d lie for my sister.
I know you all probably think I’m crazy because I’m so emotional (I’m not usually) but I’m so sad for my sister but also I feel guilty because I also just sat down and sobbed the other day because like…she was my best friend for so many years and she must completely lied and mislead me and made up stories to keep her dating him a secret, she wasn’t really my friend at all and I had no idea and I know this is about my sister and her kids and not me but I feel so sad about that.
A lot of people seemed confused about when they met. 2020 was just when her mom died and I started bringing her to big family events (holidays and stuff). Jacob and Ellie have known each other since me and her became friends when we were kids, because my sister was still living at home when they started dating. I wouldn’t ever say him and Ellie were particularly close or anything so I don’t know of any grooming or anything like that happened. Ellie doesn’t have any family so I don’t know who would even look for proof of that or not. My sister has already hired a lawyer. Jacob says hes sorry about the infidelity but says he’s ready to move on with Ellie.
Everything just really sucks now. The only one who doesn’t seem affected by any of this is Jacob who has just been acting completely normal and just hanging out with the kids a lot. My sister said he almost seems cheerful about all of this.