Submitted by MissPhilanthropocene t3_10ijklb in relationship_advice
Hello people of the world. I meet a guy on Tinder weeks ago. Everything was fluid (my point of view) we arrived at the sex topic and I said maybe we would just chill and don't have sex at all in our first date. But them he said this words "I may genuinely be too horny to just make out, I'm sorry" I thought it was maybe a red flag but them (as always) lots of compliments, he seems to appreciate me and all the other stuff. We book a meeting on Saturday and meanwhile he was sending me lots of pictures and at this point honestly, I started being interested in having sex. But then on Friday (one day before the official date) he had a bad date and sent me a message that he was heading home. I offer to meet him. He wasn't in the mood to move but he said "You can come over tonight", "Are you drunk?" I wasn't, I genuinely wanted to meet him. After an argument about who would move I ended up calling him and we agreed I was heading to his house. Everything seemed joyful and we make out and get laid (was honestly wonderful for me, we made twice in less than a hour). I headed home and in the other day (Saturday) we still having the date but then I realize how cold he was being (didn't give a damn to this red flag because yesterday we we're having sex like beasts). When we meet he barely hugged me. We went to the bar. I drunk a beer and he drunk water. The conversation was good but I feel how distant he was by body language. But I just started to feel played when I tried to kiss his cheeks and he reacted really bad. He said he wanted to go home and dropped me at the metro and I asked:
Don't you wanna kiss?>No>Do you wanna have sex?No>Why are you treating me like this?>Because I don't feel comfortable, I'm socially drained. You have too much energy>But now I'm feeling bad. (In my point of view he was literally there to show me how uninterested he was after sex, like I had nothing to offer anymore).
I headed home crying and triggered feeling used, abandoned, unattractive, and I sent him a message about what exactly was going on. I was so confused and broke. Then the disgrace started, he said these things in a row:
What made you think we we're having sex again?Why we cannot meet just to talk?Do you know what is consent?
I felt gaslighted, how a guy that just fucked with me hours ago can literally said he didn't consent with a kiss on his cheek and that's the reason why (in his point of view) I was an abuser that doesn't know basic human behavior (?). I enjoyed him lots, I do wanted to have sex. I tried to kiss him yes, but I took it for granted cause why someone that seems very into me would just start rejecting any affection (that he seemed to enjoy before) go to a bar (he doesn't even drink) talk a lot (he was saying he was socially drained) to just dump me and imply I'm an abuser? After saying this terrible things he just blocked me everywhere. I tried contact through other social media but I was blocked again.
I'm so confused and I really felt gaslighted and now I'm so triggered. I don't see how I hurt him (do you?). Was he just trying to get hid of me cause he already had what he wanted? Was I played? Any advice?