Submitted by VeiledinTwilight t3_10jwhw6 in relationship_advice
Conflict over who should work more to pay bills
So I posted in AITA and they said to post here. I (28f) want to stay home with our 2 month old baby and my husband (30m together 6 years) mentioned he could start a second job to pay bills. Well, apparently, my husband didn't really mean it when he suggested it. He doesn't want to work another job. But someone had to full bills to get paid. My dad says I'm the asshole for even suggesting it and should go to work and stop being lazy. He said I just sit around and do nothing all day. And honestly, I'm so angry. My mom says I should support my husband wanting to spend time with our son.
I had a traumatic birth (baby was stuck, emergency c section, hemorrhage, blood transfusions, long recovery). I've been diagnosed with post partum depression and anxiety. I'm terrified something is going to hurt my baby, and it's worse when he's out of my sight. I'm in therapy and on meds. My husband has NO experience with babies before our son.
My husband currently works 3 12 hour shifts at a physically demanding job. He doesn't help with housework unless asked, he doesn't cook, but he is good with the baby. On his days off he mostly sits in bed holding the baby and recovering from work. My husband works Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. So if I got a job he would watch the baby Tuesday thru Friday and Mom would watch him on Monday. So I would be getting help with childcare but I know I'll still be in charge of cooking and cleaning.
I do all night feedings. And he didn't help cook or clean even when I physically couldn't while recovering from my C section. After I got home from the hospital I did everything even when it hurt. My mom did come over and help for a few days though. I just don't think that will change if I go back to work so I'll be stuck doing everything. I don't want to do everything!
My mom thinks I should return to teaching full time. But I hated teaching! And I don't want to just rush into another job. I wanted to stay home and keep my baby safe. But anyways I'm applying for full-time jobs I don't want and I'm angry about it. Everyone in my life thinks I'm the asshole. I just want to bond with my baby.... I hate maternity in the USA... what do I do?...