Submitted by nineteenagain t3_10lm8qx in relationship_advice
I want to start by saying I love my boyfriend, but I’m at my wits end. We both live at home in our parents homes. We are planning on moving out together in May/ June but my red flag radar is going off. We’ve been together for almost 6 years, but his hygiene has taken a dive. He lives with his cousin and the environment is disgusting:
-white tub is full of black mildew which neither he or his cousin clean
- bathroom is overall dirty
-he’s had 3 separate dirty used Tupperware’s and containers in his room for at least 6 months that are growing mold. We end up arguing when I bring it up.
-he doesn’t wash his hair regularly or brush his teeth well.
-
I’ve had to adjust how I cuddle with him because his hair stinks
-
he keep’s extremely large dirty piles of clothes that stink up his room
-
his sheets stink too. Once he got bodily fluids on the sheets and legit didn’t change them for 5 weeks
I want us to work out, but need advice on how to tell him I can’t deal with the lack of hygiene. I want to give him an ultimatum because if he doesn’t change before May I can’t get an apartment with him. He used to be so clean when we met, but doesn’t care anymore. Last time I was over I told him I wasn’t interested in any intimacy. I didn’t tell him why but when I went to the bathroom, the state of it turned me off. How do I change him? He’s not depressed either, so he says.
Edit: almost 24 hrs later and I’m shocked by the responses. Thank you to everyone that has given feedback and honest advice. I’m still reading through them all.