Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

Marshaisgroovy t1_ja89ea9 wrote

Reply to My [24F] roommate [23F] has been gone from our apartment for 2.5 months and randomly texted me she’s coming back this week - beyond annoyed by [deleted]

Sounds like your biggest issue with living her is her lack of respect for your boundaries. Set your boundaries it’s your house too. If she wants to be OCD, then she can listen to your music while you shower (obviously when she’s there you don’t do things that make you happy? Why not?). Set your boundaries !

8

l3ex_G t1_ja88d0t wrote

Reply to My [24F] roommate [23F] has been gone from our apartment for 2.5 months and randomly texted me she’s coming back this week - beyond annoyed by [deleted]

It sounds like maybe you have been letting her dictate how the apartment would run while she lived there, you both pay equal rent ? Listen to music while showering if it’s a normal time. You can enjoy your apartment. Unless your willing to pay all the rent, don’t say anything to her.

11

HarveySnake t1_ja87qd3 wrote

Reply to comment by PsychologicalPanda84 in My(29F) boyfriend(31M) got an email from a online hookup app. by PsychologicalPanda84

Even IT people do dumb shit with their emails. That's coming from personal experience.

The thing that lends truth and credibility to your boyfriends idiocy is that its a sketchy website and not a phone app. If your bf had wanted to cheat he would probably stick to the more popular methods: Tinder or Bumble or OF. Sketchy website = instant identity theft with no sexy times. Everyone knows that, unless they are an imbecile.

3

its_aq t1_ja879u7 wrote

Reply to My [24F] roommate [23F] has been gone from our apartment for 2.5 months and randomly texted me she’s coming back this week - beyond annoyed by [deleted]

Omg the responses are filled with people who has no reading comprehension.

OP is asking for advice on how to communicate her feelings to her roommate. She wasn't asking for an explanation on the roommates rights.

OP, You can wait til she gets back and have a sit down to go through your feelings specifically about how much better emotionally you've gotten and that you think you might want to move out after the lease is up (if you really determined you want to live alone). This will either slap your roommate awake on the things she does to invade your personal space.

OR

You can take the passive aggressive route with a "ahh I really got into a whole vibe while you were gone. Hope you don't kill it when you get back lol"

I personally would take the first direct approach. I will say this to note, you two can still be friends and not be compatible as living mates.

I have a friend who's a pig while I'm a neat freak. We're like brothers but I can NEVER live with him. I'd lose my mind.

3

sarusagi t1_ja86glp wrote

Reply to comment by Puzzleheaded-Face-69 in Should I 22f ask my bf 23m to change or dump him? by Puzzleheaded-Face-69

Ah, I see.

Yeah, that's some pretty important info and I get why you're feeling conflicted rn.

Honestly? I learned later in life that actions speak a lot louder than words. My partner isn't much of a PDA or super lovey dovey type but I learned to notice that he shows his love by making sure we have everything you need and/or bringing me treats I like home when he's at the supermarket when I'm feeling low.

I know he doesn't make you feel loved enough (I guess in the conventional way) but does your current bf do things which show that he's thinking of or being considerate of you? Because small gestures and actions like that are also a form of love/affection.

But now I do think that if you do talk to him about this stuff that you're actually a bit more clear on how the lack of whatever it is you need is actually starting to feel like a deal breaker for you cause it's always good to start with then it goes back to how it was before, and that's not a cycle you want to be in where you have to regularly remind him to be affectionate.

I want you to avoid mentioning your ex for the reasons I said earlier and because it'll seem like you're already half packed and just looking to blow things up for an excuse to leave.

But if you're really feeling starved of what you need from a partner to feel happy, and changes on his part don't feel like they stick even when you talk about it, then I would actually say it's fair for you to consider whether this is the guy you want to spend the rest of your life with (as I assume marriage is one of your life/relationship goals) as if he's not willing to do his part to take your feelings and needs into account now, they're not suddenly going to get better the longer you stay.

1

Witch_on_a_moped t1_ja864re wrote

Reply to I'm (F27) seeing a guy (M25) who has female friends hang out at his studio apartment. by laung_samudera

I personally wouldn't care. They're his friends, and he had those friends before he met me. If you don't want his girl friends hanging out at his house, break up with him because once you say you're not okay with it, he'll tell his friends and you'll come off as the insecure crazy new gf, if he doesn't dump you first.

1