Thank you! And thanks for the support! I was starting to chicken out again but I’m glad I went through with it.

Thank you!

By that logic, calling what the majority of people commented here “judgement” is completely off as well. Being pedantic just completely dismantles what you were complaining about to begin with.

“You’re acting entitled and should get over it” is the advice the majority dished out. You have to use your “judgement” to dish out “advice” that aligns with your morals. My judgment is this comment was stupid and a really weird way to argue. My advice would be not to attempt to use literal meanings of words when coming to the defense of someone who’s acting like a jackass.

Sometimes the advice is truly to get the hell over it and take the moment to reflect on the reality check that was dished to you by strangers online. People truly need to be dragged out of their own head at times.

Happy dance!! I told you he’d say yes. Awesome. I’m also really glad you went with the ring. It sounds really special. Congratulations 🎈🎉🎊

Congratulations on the engagement! 🎉

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I’m seeing someone who doesn’t know how to read because that’s literally what I said lmao??? I’d be annoyed as fuck by roomie, I would’ve moved out on my own the first month. At least I pay my own rent and make my own rules, if wanting my space and my stuff to myself makes me spoiled alright call me Paris Hilton 💀

You believe judgement and advice is the same thing?

Advice is direct. Example, based on the context, you should do XYZ.

Your self reasoning on how judgement can be perceived as advice is not direct. It is perception.

A simple dictionary explains the difference quite clearly.

Sounds like you don’t like the answer, which is that you can talk to her about her behavior and hope that has an effect, but otherwise you have no option except get over it. The rent is being paid. You were lucky to get a couple months by yourself. Most people deal with roommate stuff all the time without breaks like that. Sounds like your amazing set up was just temporary, but it’s still cool you had it. Now you have to adjust back to what most normal people have to deal with.

The spoiled brat here is you. She's paying rent, she deserves an apartment.

If you don't like that arrangement, pay all of the rent.

I'm seeing a spoiled brat baby here.

And your only defense? "I'm jealous so I'm in the right."

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If you check your feelings of entitlement to the shared space she has continued to pay for, and your saltiness over the friendship, you can have a perfectly amicable roommate relationship going forward.

Tell her that since she's been gone a while it might be a good idea to chat about how to keep the shared space comfortable for two people again. Don't be a dick and tell her how much more you love it when she's gone and just paying half your rent. Instead, agree on things like:

Quiet hours

When cleaning needs to be done

how long can dishes be left out

Designate a place for her to put your things if you leave them out

Respect privacy when in your rooms

Keep it civil and now you know you'll want to live alone when you can.

"Great. When you return, I'd like us to create a roommate contract so that we can both be happy moving forward while living together in the apartment."

This way, your flow doesn't get automatic override and her way of living doesn't get automatic override. You will have to compromise, but you will be able to lay some reasonable boundaries down.

For example:

You don't play music on a speaker in shared spaces. You will have to decide if the bathroom is a shared space.

She doesn't touch or move your private property (this is unacceptable, btw, and I would have laid down some rules about this far earlier than now).

If she's unable to compromise, you suck it up and move out when the lease is up.

Who says? Judgement can be advice in itself when someone is completely lacking self awareness. Calling someone out for being an entitled shit-bird can totally be advice if they’re willing to take it as a wake up call.

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LOL at you getting mad that you aren't getting the supportive advice that you hoped for. You are very strange. No one cares about "your flow" and she really hasn't done anything wrong except allow you to live on your own for half rent for a couple of month's.

​

Grow up

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Why are you lashing out at people offering the advice that YOU asked for?

People get so angry when others have parents attempting to give them a more flexible and enjoyable young adult life and it’s hilarious to me. Jealousy truly is a nasty thing, it doesn’t reflect on her roommates character at all.

By state standards I was an orphan in college and getting on my own two feet fucking sucked until I was around 26. If I have kids I can’t wait to let them take life slow and enjoy college and being young. You can absolutely instill a sense of responsibility while helping with living expenses.

Years ago in my 20’s I had a roommate whose boyfriend lived on the other side of the country. Her work also took her to his city frequently. She’d be gone for weeks at a time then come back and it felt so disruptive. So i moved out.

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If its a work laptop it will be required to be locked. Generally that's company policy. Personal laptop, open to interpretation... My daughter and son both have laptops that auto-lock. They are adults and neither of them are in relationships and their education on computer safety from myself and the local high school really hammered home the necessity of locking your laptop.

If you are looking for proof of cheating, check his phone. That's where the apps will be and any communication apps (dm's through social media, snapchat, whatsapp, etc...)

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