There's an 11 year age gap, find someone much closer to your age and that will remove a lot of the insecurity

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You don't have to be an ass about it, you know what OP meant

I always try to introduce her and steer the convo her way. She told me after she doesn't appreciate that because she isn't a people's person..

When I thought it was safe to do so, I did ask if she wants to consider the counseling.. She said she doesn't know, but I'll talk to her, maybe go with her.

I'll try to spend more time with her on campus 1 on 1.

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But it wasn't like this last year? Like we've gone out to pubs and events and things have been fine.

And her personal live hasn't taken a complete toll.. Should I focus on giving her space? Should we take a break so she could work on herself? Is it possible to stay together while she works on herself?

I feel held captive in the sense that saying anything that sounds like "leaving" would make everything worse.

This is not your problem. This is hers. She needs to get into counseling. As you're at uni, there have to be free/cheap services on campus.

The only thing you can do is make sure that when you reach out to people is that you include her in the intro and the conversation. If something comes up in the conversation that she could comment on, direct the conversation towards her. And, is a walk accross campus a party or a chance for some one on one time with your gf?

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Financial reasons make sense, definitely. Weddings can get quite expensive, even small ones.

Personally, I don’t see how being engaged can be scary when you’ve willingly had a child with this person already lol.

Still, I think I’d actually be completely honest in this case. I’d probably confess to knowing her plan and explain why I wasn’t ready and that I’d like to wait a few more years.

Or, you can both discuss having a long engagement, if you’re willing to say yes. Personally, I’m a fan of long engagements, but I know some ppl aren’t.

Op was obliged by the parents to stay with the sister so she probably felt like it was owed to her.

Anyhow, having the parents deal with it is probably the course of action. If they can afford it, they can front OP the money and have her pay them back.

Well there’s a couple reasons, we have a 3 month old and I feel it would be easier to wait as she would be older and I’d be even more financially free. I understand you can be engaged for a while before actually getting married also. Maybe just the idea of actually being engaged scares me.

Y’all are young, but other than that, what is your reason for waiting one or two years?

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She has said before that she doesn’t care how big or small it is but I know she would love a nice wedding, I’d just rather give her a ring and be good to go. I’m not very social or big on events like I used to be.

> The issue is I’ve never really liked the idea of actually having a wedding it just seems like too much.

You can just have a small wedding unless in her eyes she wants a big one.

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If its multiple girls at the same time i see no issue

Don’t pay any rent or contribute a thing until the value of that money is all used up. Your sister likely does have some sort of problem - drugs, drinking, or gambling. You won’t get the money back. Let your parents know this has happened so they don’t send any money her way as it too might go missing. Find a way to cover your finances asap! Could you end up on the streets if sis is not paying rent?

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The money is gone she spent it on who knows

You can be "nice" about this and demand she start repaying you or you can be less nice and go through the courts. However, you need proof that you gave her the money and why and all that and that might be tough.

Tell your parents, let them pound her

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