She is going to complain no matter what.

best bet is just to agree and not take it personally.

Ask him. This is a good chance to grow up and start learning to be direct.

Otherwise you can sit and hope.

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Tell her welcome back but you will not accept your new flow being harshed.

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If I’m being totally honest I’m not a fan of being intoxicated while my partner isn’t there regardless of the situation. That’s me tho. Being intoxicated has ruined peoples happy relationships due to misguided mistakes. I think if the only thing you can do with your friends is go to a bar and club then you aren’t ready for a relationship.

I’ll never force anyone to do anything but I do have a zero tolerance policy for indiscretion. Drunken kiss. Gone. Accidentally slept in the same bed but didn’t do anything. Gone. No conversation or closure just moving on with my life.

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You want to go out drinnking with your friends. He doesn't want you to go out drinking with your friends. There's a very simple solution to this problem: Go out drinking with your friends.

He doesn't get to dictate your behavior. He doesn't get to tell you who you're allowed to spend time with or how you spend that time. I don't understand why you would even begin to entertain the idea that he gets to control you like this.

"Honey, we've had this conversation several times, and I understand how you feel. However, these are my friends, this is my last semester of college, and I want to go out drinking with them, so that's what I'm going to do. It clearly bothers you, so we're just not going to talk about this anymore, because I refuse to let you make me feel bad for living a normal life. That's my decision. If you have a problem with that, then you should probably find a different girlfriend."

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Tell ur parent.

Are bisexual people never allowed to drink with anyone, then?

She stole your money.

Tell your parents about it, and tell them that if she doesn’t return it immediately that you will be going to the police to report the theft.

Yeah our 1 year old is now sleeping through the night. We will have random wake-ups from the 3-year-old, the baby, or the dog. Seems that most nights something will break our sleep at least once, but just very quickly and we all go back to bed. But whenever that happens we all kind of wake up, so it's not something she solely has to deal with. I will say that she was amazing dealing with all of the nighttime wake-ups the last year, which is wy I am only starting to get resentful now. I just assumed as the baby got older she would become more grateful. That has not been the case.

Imo people in commuted relationships should not be with the opposite sex while intoxicated

>He has had many traumatic experiences drinking and expresses that he feels uncomfortable and anxious when I go out with my friends to drink

So, his past baggage is impacting his new relationship. Nice.

If he doesn't like it, then that is his problem. Don't let someone put a leash on you and isolate you from your friends.

If you want to go have fun with your friends, this is the age to do it. And if he doesn't trust or like that... then find yourself a boyfriend who doesn't try to control your behavior.

What does he expect you to do? Sit at home EVERY weekend and be on facetime? That sounds like a pathetic depressing relationship.

He's got no right to be mad or upset with you.

Think about in a years time... with the track your relationship is on, it will probably go south.

Would you look back and resent the fact that you missed spending time with your friends for an ex who controlled you?

That is really good advice. I feel like I make a point to find time to myself once a month, and she has not done the same. I get that it's harder with the breastfeeding and baby schedule/routine than it is for me and I appreciate that she owns that part of our parenting roles. I will more proactively help her to schedule some free time to do something on her own to see if it gives her some relief, and hopefully some clarity on her situation being fairly positive.

Also for clarity, the oldest is only in preschool about 12 hours a week, and the nanny is at the house about 25-30 hours a week and the grandparent is at the house about 15 hours a week.

I've never been insecure in relationships for the record. Mostly due to my upbringing. And I've dated older men before. And it's not that. But I appreciate your input.

She's not wrong that parents never get a day off. That's just what you sign up for when have a child. But if your wife needs naps during the day because she's up at night with your toddler it could be a sign that your one year-old hasn't been properly sleep trained. A 12 month old should be able to sleep through the night. So maybe work on that. If your wife could sleep at night she wouldn't need naps and likely wouldn't be so grumpy as she adjusts to the reality that parenting is a 24/7 job.

Why does she not take more advantage of having the nanny and the grandparents around to give her some rest time when she needs it?

Some of these challenges--the breast feeding, for example--are temporary, and will disappear or get easier as the children get older. And this is not her first time doing this. You already had one child, so she KNEW what to expect when you both decided to have a second child.

Honestly, you do a shit ton more work than any other dad I know, based on your description of the situation. Particularly given that there is also a nanny there most of the time when you're at work and your older kid is in school most of the week. In fact, honestly, it sounds like you're doing MOST of the overall work, especially since it's on top of a full-time job.

Find a way for her to take a day off. Take a sick day and send her to a spa for the day, for example, if it would make her feel more appreciated.

The only "commitment" that really carries any weight is marriage. Even engagement is just a state of mind that can be broken at any moment without legal entanglement. Unless at some future point you two can live in the same city (not the same apartment, that would only come later after dating each other IRL for a while) it's pointless to talk about "committing". You just don't know each other well enough yet for any of that. It's very easy to present your finer points in an LDR. You won't know enough to put you credit/finances into each other's hands until you've been in the position to date in person for a significant period of time. Maybe find a diplomatic way to let her know that she's rushing things (and also that a verbal agreement is irrelevant).

This is his own issue to work through and trying to control your behavior as a way to manage his anxiety isn't appropriate. It would be one thing to ask for an occasional check-in/update to reassure him that you're safe etc, but getting upset at you for doing completely normal and healthy activities is unreasonable. Sounds like he needs some therapy.

In a relationship with a normal, rational, mature person. No, that's not too much to ask. That's how healthy relationships work.

In a relationship with an insecure, jealous, controlling person with trust issues. Yes, that's way too much to ask for.

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Well you certainly shouldn't get engaged if you've been apart for 2 years long distance. Live closer and spend a LOT more time in person with her before getting engaged.

I’m in a indian culture where couples don’t live together unless committed unfortunately