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yeah I don’t plan in contacting her anytime soon. She did offer to stay in touch, but i’m not ready for that. I will have to see her at the end of march though because she asked me to sign up for something with her a while back. I think the part that hurt me the most is when I heard she already had a dating profile so soon after dumping me.

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A Nanny 3x a week for 8 hr days, Grandparents for 15 hrs a week, AND a cleaner? Why not just let her stop being a Mom and partner altogether? lmao

I’m sure she does care about you. 19 is young, and maybe she’s just not ready for a committed relationship. While I’ve no doubt it hurts, your best approach might be to simply be nice and cool about it, then go ahead and live your life. Who knows what the future may bring. If you’re clingy or weird she will be lost forever, but if you’re cool and carry on with your own independent life, things may change.

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I recommend you take a look at Attachment Theory. I wish I’d known about it at your age. In short, people respond to fear of rejection and abandonment in very similar ways, based on how our parents responded to our vulnerability as early as in our infancy. You’d be surprised how much it influences every little moment in a relationship, even the things that make you snap.

The second thing is, you’re both very young and probably need to develop your emotional intelligence still. This is normal. Emotional intelligence, if you don’t know, means being aware of what you’re feeling and learning how to communicate it. When you have that awareness, it changes a moment where you (or he) might make a passive aggressive comment into a moment of clear and direct conversation about what you’re feeling. Example: Maybe he doesn’t clean up something very well and you feel like it means he doesn’t care enough about you to put in the effort, so instead you send a barb his way to let him know it annoys you, when it would be much more productive to say, “hey, when you do X, I feel like it means Y and that hurts my feelings.” Then he can respond from an informed perspective instead of being made to feel small or guilty first.

Basically, you have to learn how to translate your feelings into direct communication. Outside of jokes, Sarcasm is really just indirect criticism, which is not the most mature way to express something and certainly doesn’t prioritize respect for your partner. It’s clear that you do respect and admire him, so I’d encourage you to learn to speak what you’re feeling. As my therapist told me many years ago, feelings are always okay no matter what, but if you don’t get them out in a healthy way, they will leak out wherever they can.

Check out the dead bedrooms sub. This isn’t going to get any better. Just because you aren’t having sexy doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t have any affection. It sound like you two aren’t compatible.

>I think a lot of it has to do with losing who she is.

I think that's an astute observation. Perhaps she feels that with all of your support (and especially a nanny), she doesn't have a "good reason" to feel out of sorts with this new arrangement. Maybe you could begin a conversation with her focused on this, checking in on her and asking how she feels now after a few years of being a stay-at-home mother.

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Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

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This sounds like a really good topic to address in individual therapy. There are modalities such as DBT which help specifically with emotion regulation.

Touch-starved should not equate to lack of sexual intimacy. Are you saying that your partner isn’t physically affectionate with you at all?

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

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No problem at all! We all hit lows. I hope you find a way to feel better soon

She sounds anxious/depressed or just burnt out in general. She must get some time and you must talk to her about this