Should I ask her to not discuss the past? I'm not trying to hide anything at all. I'm just worried she'll continue making random comments which could hurt if I don't say anything.

[removed]

I don’t think that anything positive comes out of these discussions, for anyone, ever!

You’ve already alluded to how it could cause issues, so unless your intention is to cause an issue, I’d avoid it.

Yeah probably not a good conversation to have

That all sounds really awful. Here's what you do:

1. break it off. The worst your family can do is go "aw that's a shame :/"
2. enjoy being free from someone who antagonizes you.
3. spend the next three years working out and getting absolutely shredded.
4. find this dude again and then rip him in half like a phonebook.

I think you'll be much happier without all this mess.

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[removed]

Keep in mind part of her job is putting on an act for men so she'll get paid. She interacts with a lot of different men, so she needs to be able to adapt her personality according to who she's with. She might be doing that with you too, making you feel at ease and accepted around her. But, most of the men she is with probably feel as comfortable around her as you do.

Wow, thank you for really explaining this to me. I agree with what you're saying. I will definitely give this guy a chance because I do feel like we're in the same lifestage, and so far he has treated me like an equal. This was really helpful.

>But this 2-2 setup didn't seem appropriate, especially without talking about it with me first.

Maybe you should've involved yourself more with the planning then eh?

[removed]

The problem is never the disparity in ages. People can love who they love.

The problem in 'age gap' relationships are two-fold: power imbalance and life stages

Example 1: 40yr old and an 18yr old. The 40 year old will usually hold more 'power' in the relationship due to more established career/finances but also due to experience. It's easier for a 40 yr old to lie to someone fresh out of childhood than someone who's had life experience. I don't think that this applies here since you are an established adult and in just a few years will have been an adult for longer than you were a child. Any 'power imbalance' in the relationship now is entirely due to personality rather than age. NOTE: while the power imbalance is a danger in all extended age gap relationships that does not mean that it is present in all of them.

Example 2: heterosexual relationships - F35/M55 or F40/M20 or F20/M50 The other issue is 'life stages'. if the woman is nearing the point where she really has to start trying to get pregnant if she wants to start a family then she can hit trouble with a partner who is older and does not want to be a 75yr old by the time his kid leaves home or on the other end a partner who doesn't want to be a dad at 20. Similarly if you're 20 and want to establish a career but your partner wants a child before he's 'too old' then your relationship might buckle under that strain. You're 20 and want to go to clubs and travel but they've done all that and want a quiet life. You and your partner aren't that far apart, you're past your nightclub years and if you're going to be childless then I can't see an issue.

[removed]

Is he in therapy?

[removed]

I am one to contact body corp with issues for house - anything to fix around house I attempt first before asking him. Don't have a garden. I wash the cars exterior and interior, and take them for maintenance. . I do get frustrated with what he does do e.g. clean toliet and not clean under seat, mop floors but not empty bucket, so I ask him to do more but feel like it's to do the bare basics

He hasn't spoken to you in 5 months. You have already lost him. I know ending stuff sucks but you've gotta start moving on.

Sounds like you should make an attempt to save it, although with the knowledge that it may never happen. It sounds like he got hardcore shamed by church elders into leaving you behind (they probably gave him a serious guilt trip).

Ironically, I would say that you should do a hail-mary throw and tell him that you have strong romantic feelings for him and want to try dating him. If he says no, then that's that.

Good luck and here's hoping it all works out.

[removed]

It depends. Are there any tasks that he does and you don't? For example fixing things around the house, cutting the grass, washing the cars etc. The reason I ask this is because he may feel that you're undervaluing the things he already does by asking him to do more.

yeah I’ve come to accept that reality, but it still hurts to see me discarded and replaced so quickly. I only noticed her mood only shifted towards me about 2 weeks ago

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

• We do not allow any type of am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors

• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

• No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. This is not an all-inclusive list.

• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.

#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

It’s two days for you, but she may have been over you weeks ago.

Thanks for the answer. I think I may be overly freaked out about age gaps because my grandfather and his wife were 30 years apart... it's a huge scandalous and family taboo 🥲

It sounds like you have a bit of a lovable idiot. I don't mean that to be insulting. How can he not understand you literally guiding his hands to grope you under your shirt?

Tell him he needs to be more proactive and responsive to your signals. Or start grabbing him by the crotch and drag him to the bedroom.