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Seems fair to me. The boundary has been set.

I wouldn't like it either.

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I’ve been married for a long, long time. I put on a ton of weight during that time. My husband didn’t like it but he loves me and we stayed married. Never , ever did he threaten to leave me. I’ve lost most of the weight now and I’m very healthy now and happy and I’m still married. He stuck by me at a time I felt huge and unhealthy. That’s what good partners do. They stay. They work through issues wether it’s finances, disability, accident, weight or other things. Lose the guy. YOU can do better.

A few things yes you are/were in love with him.

When there is a big difference in age - people tend to be judgemental. Seems you are involved in a church that inter fears in people lifes.

Discuss this with your parents. As they like him maybe they can ask him if he loved you or not. If he stopped coming because he did not love you - at least he is an honest man. If he loved you - he is not talking his life seriously.

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There is really only one situation where age gap is a real issue when someone uses age and experience to effectively prey on someone who doesn't have their own knowledge and experience to understand. Otherwise who cares. Go for it.

He doesn’t do the housework if I’m too sick. It stacks up until it gets mouldy and ants get into it. That’s why I have to still clean with goopy eyes. He doesn’t come with me to appointments or feed me or anything like that. If he does have burnout though it’s probably from work.

His mother is kind of awful. I really don’t want to get too into it but she’s very self focused on what upsets her. My own family lives too far away to help. Thanks for your comment though. 👍

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Drop him. He isn't suitable for a long term partner.

You'll be experiencing a lot more life changing things the longer you live and he made it clear he's gonna abandon you once you fall under his "standards".

She’s 25 and still acts like a 15 year old?

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I wonder if he could have a bit of caregiver burnout? If he was good a few years ago, maybe he's running on empty.

It could be worth a conversation about how he is supported to support you - does he have a good network? Could you get a cleaner so he isn't picking up so much housework if you're not able to do things? Do you have friends or family who might be able to do some of the things he currently does to help you/your household?

Sit her down and say "this is not how I want us to have confrontations, if you keep doing this, then I won't be around anymore."

Frankly, it sounds like you're seen as someone who will always come back, no matter how childish they behave. Give them a wake up call and tell them to cut this shit out. She isn't 19 anymore and this isn't a mature way of dealing with things.

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I dont wanna say she has it easy but as a single mother to 2 who never had a nanny or help...she has it easy breezy compared to most mothers in the world. Im going to assume she is either depressed (maybe she should get a hobby that takes her away from the kids and back with adults) or she has PPD (its a depression too but completely different). Its easy to "lose yourself" when you become a parent, no matter how much help you have. Do you take her out on dates? I see you say what you do for the family but do you do things for your wife as a wife and not just the mother of your children?

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Look the answer is no you shouldn't but of course you should

Even if you both agree not to discuss the past which is very difficult , if you meet someone later who new her back then and they say something like "ooh man you should have seen her in college " it's going to grind on you all over again.

Our past helps shape us , good or bad.

I mean has she cheated on anyone before , did she use protection before , what's her stance on abortion .... All things you should know and she should know about you and unfortunately sexual history is one of them.

Now this doesn't have to be a one hit conversation but as you date certainly things you should understand.

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I think it should be discussed if other people know about it and it can be publicized at a later date.

Seems like she enjoyed the attention, she most likely added them and liked their pictures in an indirect attempt to get them to keep providing her with that attention. If I were you I'd keep an eye on the comments that may show up from those guys.

Yes. Definitely drop him too. What a shallow and rude thing to say. He's more concerned with the number than how you look even, which is just stupid.

I can understand people having/wanting a certain lifestyle and wanting a partner with similar goals. But being willing to leave you over the number on the scale while you're in the process of working on your fitness after an injury is just....ridiculous. You can do, and deserve, better.

Okay, now, I'm not the kind of person that is going to say someone can't prefer to date someone with a certain body type.

But this...

>if I don’t lose weight he’s going to leave me like he did his previous two girlfriends (both for being overweight).

Sounds like a recurring theme that probably stems from him being hypercritical. And this...

>“I don’t want to be hanging around with my friends and thinking that THEY could be thinking I could do better than you”.

Just... What? How old is he? You say 27, but I don't think he's progressed mentally from 12.

Add all that on top of the fact that you were in an accident, you are working on it, you aren't much bigger than when you met and he's even more concerned with the actual number than what you look like or whether you're healthy.

So, what would he be like if you get down to what he deems "acceptable" and then you two have a baby? Be telling you that you aren't losing the baby weight fast enough and what will his friends think while you have an infant hanging off your boob, while washing up puked on clothes and with a pile of crappy diapers to take out?

Yeck.