He was abusive to her I thought she had a quart restraining order against him

I'm literally unemployed due to the severity of my (bipolar) depression. I understand what it is.

Mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse.

Edit to add: if he is capable of working and playing video games, he is capable of helping at least a little bit. Him struggling and not being able to 100% complete tasks as usual is understandable. Completely neglecting OP and leaving her to do all the tasks when she literally cannot see? He isn't even apologising to her for it. Anyone with depression would feel shit that they're unable to help, and would say something about it.

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You THOUGHT she wasn’t with her ex? Seriously? You don’t know? She’s married.

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It’s a decent excuse, or you’re taking a pretty narrow view of what depression is.

Man I was pretty shitty when I was an inexperienced 18 yr old too. Good thing I matured as I got older. Kinda.

Too much unnecessary drama though. Wouldn't you be happier without all this?

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That certainly simplifies it to a good question doesn't it? He has a lot of good traits that I used to see a lot before I moved closer. And the cliche but true reason... love. But love won't keep me from ending it if I have to

It was the most difficult conversation of our entire marriage. finally, after 10 years of being married I found courage to ask her more or less straight. And some information was rather hurtful to me. It did not change how much I love her but I wish we had had this conversation before we got married.

Thank you so much for your suggestion, I'll definitely try this when I can.

Have a sit down with him, explain that the chores are not just your responsibility, that you're suffering. That you're literally sick right now and he should be stepping up.

Then you'll not be able to say he doesn't see it.

I am literally unemployed due to my mental health being so severe. I still support my SO where I am able to (with reasonable adjustments and understanding on worse days). His potential depression isn't an excuse.

Maybe a spa trip, or a weekend away wouldn't hurt. Maybe a romantic getaway for you two?

Remember, you're partners first, then parents, though infants can switch that a little. Show her how much you still love her.

Your relationship ship sounds very tiring. You are currently in a place of competition against each other, you need to get to a place of team work.

I would love to see this from her perspective tbh. Ask her to share it with you!! From your side you are clearly working very hard for your family and doing everything you can, that's good! You seem to expect gratitude when it's really what you should be doing anyway though. You need to get into why she feels the way she does and work with her to resolve it. You also need to share your own feelings in non-accusatory way.

Once you've got everything out in the open you can start to deal with it. You're obvious a successful guy there's a million methods used in business to resolve problems like this, you probably use them regularly. Bring them home and switch out all the buzz words for something more personal and get this resolved.

Why are you dating this immature twat?

You deserve better than her. Stop thinking she’s all you can get. She’s a shit human.

Dump her. You e put up with this crap for 2 years. That’s long enough.

I think it might be that he doesn't see I'm suffering at all, and simply sees it as my job? I'm not sure anymore. :(

He isn't. The last time he broke up because i had suggested therapy and his therapist had said that you're unfit to be in a relationship and you'll cause more harm than happiness to your partner.

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Yeah, I mean, rom coms and pop. You may date a glass of water instead - it's also pretty tasteless, but at least it won't disrespect you.

He's an alcoholic. Why are you fighting so hard for this?

His potential depression is an explanation but not an excuse.

He can see that you're suffering but is making the choice not to help you.

I hope nobody gives you a solution because this is too cute to put an end to.

Anyway, his target was lower down, you moved his hand up, he figured you were humoring him with a little bit of touching but were not in the mood for full-on sex.

You both comprehended each other's cues incorrectly, so any communication built on top of that false understanding was sure to go nowhere.

You approached this from the wrong direction. Instead of talking to her about the photos and asking why she likes posting them, you automatically assumed that it was to gain attention. All social media posts are for attention -- attention is not much of an answer to why she posts what she posts. If it makes you uncomfortable, you should've told her this and asked her to stop / remove the pictures without making it seem like she's an attention-seeker. Stating your own boundaries and asking her to respect them doesn't need to involve attacks on her person.

If it's a dealbreaker and she refuses to respect that boundary, then the two of you are just incompatible, and you should find someone who has more similar values. Try to reduce your own controlling / insecure behavior and work on healthy communication skills as well so that your relationship with her (or someone else) can be more healthy.

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