You both work over 100+ hrs a week and still can't afford housekeeping? Sounds like you guys aren't compensated very well.

How about hiring housekeeping for just sundays or saturdays? At least save the deep cleaning of bathrooms and stuff for this whole day.

Not sure if you have kids. If you don't, instead of frequent grocery trips how about ordering planned meals like hello fresh? With inflation now adays it's surprising how not much pricier these kinds of meals are compared to normal groceries. Will also probably cut your dishes by half as many of the products come prepped and ready to cook.

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Ok, I get the "my problem" part (I'm sleep deprived and can't go to sleep yet). I didn't mean you can't help. But the only way is to talk with him and ask him what could help aside from you dropping your friends. But in the end these are his feelings and insecurities that he has to deal with, you can only do so much and sacrificing yourself in a process isn't going to help in a long run. I understand that jealousy is a feeling and those aren't logical, but he doesn't trust you to the point where he is "sad" for a whole day...?

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If you have children in the future and she gets annoyed at them what is she going to do? Lock them in a room so she doesn't have to face them?

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Double standards. Not attractive.

Walking outside of the path is supposed to be protective in terms of "if a car loses control and veers onto the sidewalk, let it hit me and not my girlfriend". Not because people are looking at your ass.

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What does he want you to do?

What do you want him to do?

What do you want to do?

The 3 basic questions.

You’ve stated the fears but not the desired goals.

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It’s perfectly reasonable for him to lose attraction after a lot of weight gain. That’s life.

He stuck with you while you were hurt right? While you’re recovering in a wheelchair and going through PT, he was by your side? Was he helpful and supportive during that time?

The fact he says he would be worried about what his friends think is honestly weird as hell. It’s one thing to lose attraction, but it’s completely different to be ashamed of you and worry about the social consequences of having an overweight GF.

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According to traditional etiquette, it's the polite thing to do, except that it shouldn't have anything, specifically, to do with your ass. I hope that part of the discussion was just a bad joke.

Maybe not quite this but if he didn't tell his wife, that's all the Red flags you need.

I don't see why you shouldn't rekindle your romance with him.

You're already 26, pretty mature as an adult so bwing in a relationship with someone 12 yrs older isn't as big of a deal as when you are younger. You are no vulnerable teen anymore.

If he suddenly kept distance, someone might have confronted him about your age gap too and he might have chosen to keep a respectful distance.

I say go for it. Have a heart to heart talk.

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Cringe

Why?

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Going through your partner's phone in this situation, you were invading their privacy for sure.

That being said. This is probably a "you" problem in terms of how do you feel about this? Is your partner watching pornography a dealbreaker? Is the amount of pornography he's watching unhealthy?

Collecting hundreds of porn titles... I don't know. Seems weird to me. Could be a "joke collection" or something. I don't understand why he wouldn't just save the files or links, but the titles.

Neither. It’s paranoia and a red flag. Not cute!

A gentleman will always walk on the outside of the path to protect his lady. He was raised right.

It looks like you do talk about it with him, otherwise you wouldn't know any of the things you wrote. Can you explain what does he mean by saying it's definitely your problem that you have to sort out on your own? What exactly he thinks is "your problem" here?

Answering your question, you want to still have said friends and be able to hang out with them. He can accept it or leave. It's definitely his problem and he has to deal with it on his own. But it's concerning that his behavior is escalating in a wrong direction. Trying to make it your problem and being "sad" for a whole day is a little concerning.