Get rid of it

You can share your vulnerabilities without being a mess that you expect him to clean up.

Stop saying negative things about yourself. It you’re struggling with low self esteem and you want his support, tell him. But say what you mean and mean what you say

delay the wedding for now. my belief is that if it's not a hell yes then it's a no. I feel like your girl is Filipina and if her family's what I think it is, you are never going to have her as your wife 100%. Her family's welfare will always come first even though you're starting your own family. If you're taking her to live with you, expect that even if she gets a good job a huge chunk of her earnings will be sent back home and won't go towards your plans as a couple. You will become the money source of the family so expect calls about every possible financial emergency. you're going to visit her hometown often and expect that you will be the ones spending the whole time. I could be wrong, but in most cases this is what happens. observe and assess because that is a big commitment you're making.

Sounds terribly exhausting. You must really love her to be willing to put in this much effort. Of course, if she really loved you back then she wouldn't be okay with you deciding to leave.

It sounds like one of you already knows this relationship is dead and the other is left dancing with a corpse full of bile.

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Thanks, you sound just like my parents, friends, and my roommate. You're right, it's been long enough. She just treats me like lower-than-the-dirt crap.

You are right, because I'm always here when she's done being upset. I need to regain power in this relationship. My thing is, if I said I won't be around anymore, she will just say that's fine and she will be ok. She won't be hurt by my leaving. Because I try so hard to make it work, she keeps sticking around. I guarantee as soon as I put less effort in or pretend I don't care, she will leave and be ok being by herself. She is a narcissist.

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I think you’re a lovestruck idiot? If she has mental illnesses, she is not ready for a relationship and IT SHOWS. You’re also reaching fairly far to blame her for shit she wasn’t around for. She disappeared for 9 months but you went through with a marriage? Think of your children and just don’t with this hot mess situation. Good god.

Apparently lol.

Well to be fair we are both against having children. I do have a dog though.

I second this question you have with: how will she react if we ever do decide to live together? Will she just leave the apartment? Will she just disappear? I am very afraid of how she will react if we ever decide to get to that point. At this rate I don't see us ever living together. She's completely against it as of now and her actions turn me off from it myself.

Go ahead and ask. But don't expect to ever get the money.

Sorry I misinterpreted it as cheating. It's not always the case but its a known thing that if someone starts suspecting you it might be because they're behaving badly themselves

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Can you talk to her about eloping?

Where do you plan on living after marriage?

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He will, 100%, do it to you eventually.

You should dump him and thank her.

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I mean I totally agree with your advice in logic. But I guess that’s the problem and that’s why I’m here. So I can hear it from other people. Because you know the heart wants what the heart wants and it has little or nothing to do with the logic a lot of the time. But I appreciate your advice. And it’s what I hear from the people around me and so I know it’s probably totally accurate. But just because they head knows it’s true doesn’t make the heart hurt less.