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To be fair she usually doesn’t mind. This is the first time because she says she feels jealous that I’d be close to another lady while dancing.

I don’t have any such history because I’ve simply never done that. She said that she feels jealous that I’d be that close to another lady while dancing.

Because I do love him I just don't really find him "attractive" anymore

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Hon, why are you stressing? It's not a good fit. Cut the boy loose and find someone else.

Break up with him. He deserves better.

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I'm a mother myself, the unconditional love and sacrifices is part of the job, it's the bare minimum of what a good parent does. You can be grateful and appreciative without forfeiting yourself. Clearly, there are some conditions to their love though.

Break up, you cant be blamed if you're not attracted to a person. Now I wouldnt call him ugly or say that why because thats just a horrible thing to do, but you're both better off not being together if one of you isnt happy.

>I don't want to end my marriage, by any stretch, but I know beyond a doubt that my wife would not be open to that kind of relationship

And there it is. You made a monogamous vow to someone, for better or worse, till death do you part. To her alone. And she did for you. Yes?

If you suddenly want to change the basic tenets of that agreement, and she does not, then you're looking at divorce. I mean, it's that simple.

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>she had feelings for him, and she backed way off and ended that friendship on her own accord. She never hid anything from me, and at worst it got borderline flirtatious...

So... she's a good person, and knows how to deal with passing crushes like a mature married person.

There is so much more to polyamory than the supposed permission to sleep with your random crushes. It's sad to watch these middle aged people leave happy fulfilling marriages in pursuit of greener pastures, claiming a newfound interest in 'polyamory', only to be slapped with reality the second they actually try to pursue these passing interests.

That barista is likely just being nice- it is likely she does not want to sleep with you. You're just going through a panic at 34 imagining all the women you could be sleeping with, not realizing your best case end-goal would be to find an amazing woman to marry. ....Like you already have.

Sounds to me like you're hitting your midlife crisis a little early tbh.

• I was attracted to him in the beginning but slowly I've seemed to be turned off and idk why :(

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Making a big announcement would feel like deliberately stirring drama. But I see no reason not to drop it into conversations when it fits. For example, Guy Friend J rolls his eyes and mentions that your ex was flirting with his girlfriend again. You then have an opening to say “I wish he’d grow up and stop playing games. I found out a couple months ago that he sexted someone overseas for almost two years behind my back.”

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You shouldn’t be in a relationship where the other person is violating your boundaries. It’d be best for both of you to get counseling. His sex drive is not going to decrease until he’s much older. You two are sexually incompatible.

You both have flea problems. You both need to treat the flea problems together. Maybe hire the same pest control company.

As far as the stray cats, they need to be kept away from the houses. Otherwise the flea problems will continue.

The other option is they catch all the cats and take them to the Vet to be treated. Granted they can get fleas again.

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I would bring that up with your therapist and your wife. Willingness to work on it from both parties is good and healthy but also knowing your limit and sticking to that doesn't make you a bad person or a failure.

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"I like you, and I want to continue that, and in time go beyond liking.

I think we are getting along swimmingly. Just one concern: The high pace has caught me by surprise.

It is a part of my personality - I tend to go slow and steady.

You have more of a passionate and driven persona. Think of it like this: I am like a reliable employee; you are more of an ambitious leader of a promising start-up.

And the simple reality is: I am finding it difficult to handle the pace.

So if it's OK with you, can we dial back the speed a little? I will try to increase my pace a little, and you can also perhaps slow down a little.

I hope I am not asking for too much. Let me know your thoughts - candidly".

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