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>What makes it even worse is she told me that they hooked up after a week or so of texting, and it took maybe a month and a few dates before me and her ever slept together

Is it a competition though?

Are you disappointed because it took you longer to sleep with her than someone else? Maybe she regrets her action and wanted to take things slow so she doesn't get burnt again.

Look man. This is a you problem and nothing more.

There will always be someone before you and someone after you. If you allow those thoughts to poison you and jeopardize relationships, you will never be able to maintain a healthy one. You will always be the downfall.

I never understood this notion of needing to know your partners past. I am 30 years old, and in all of the relationships I've had, we never discussed sexual history. Its better not to know.

So, if its not this relationship, for the next one, leave that conversation off the table.

You need to focus on the present and why she is with you and not other people. If you're in her life, there is a valuable reason for it.

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He's not cocky; he's insecure. For what reason would he say this to you?

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You say that, but i am friends with girls that are honest enough around me about how they miss the sex with their former partners, regardless of them having a boyfriend now. The thought of those same words being said by MY girlfriend eats me

define "act up" please

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Stop thinking about it and focus on the present. No one can help you but you. If she's with you, she wants you. Not them.

Stop thinking about it and focus on the present. No one can help you but you. If she's with you, she wants you. Not them.

But now that we have had that unnecessary conversation, where do we go from here? Is there any easier way to get over it? Is there something i need to understand to think of the situation differently?

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Seems she only thought about them because you two decided to have that unnecessary conversation.

Responding to your last sentence, I feel like if she doesnt tell me the thought of it will just eat me alive. Like when she told me about them i obviously wasnt happy but i was glad i knew rather than not knowing at all. One of the questions i asked her when we were talking about our former hookups was whether or not i had known or met any of them. I asked if i shook any of their hands before and she said yes and that comment felt like someone shot me in the stomach. Knowing that I dapped up someone that knew they had slept with my girlfriend before, unbeknownst to me

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You're 20 and you've been dating this guy you're physically (but apparently not emotionally) attracted to for roughly 90 days. Ask yourself if you think it would be a good investment to spend a lot of money getting married under these circumstances. If you see the chance for a real relationship here you should tell him that when you're 25 and you've been together for at least a few years that would be the time to talk about getting married. Of course he doesn't want to go into debt staging a wedding for a marriage that's certain to end in divorce.

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You don’t. You respect his wishes. You are going to be months of therapy to fix this, the relationship is already tainted, you can’t ask him to be single for a year for a crazy chick he dated for a month. Learning what’s important in life will help you a lot, but it sounds like you have a past to unpack with a professional. Hypnosis and exercise are great for anxiety, but anyone can be someone else for a month. There are a million stories on here of people getting married or moving in too quickly and they end up in an abusive relationship. If you are crying at dinner over not getting a flower, how will you cope when real stuff happens? Because real stuff will happen. People will die, have accidents, get sick, lose children, lose their partner, face financial ruin. What do you bring to the table? You sound as though you need babied. That’s not a partner, that’s a responsibility with sex. Decent, stable people can’t be arsed with drama llamas. Life’s too short.

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What you see now is the trial period- it's the best it'll ever be.

At 20 years old- you're excited about staying out past midnight and getting to eat candy for breakfast. You're finally an adult and get to do adult things, so why do you want to clip your wings so young? Why wouldn't you enjoy your freedom and all things that being unattached has to offer?