Having your privileges and good fortune cannot fix a chemical imbalance. It also can't erase the very horrible start to your life. Keep going to therapy, keep excerise, look into medical help. Sadly, none of this will help over night it could take a very long time to get to a better place.

It probably is best to break things off. Your gf doesn’t deserve someone thats disgusted by her. It is a sign of your own insecurity and if you can’t see yourself getting over it then let her go. You’d feel really shitty if your partner was disgusted by you for doing the exact same things that they had done.

She has a past like almost everyone else on the planet, including you. Probably best to not be in a relationship until you can be comfortable with that. But make it clear that this is something YOU need to work through, not something SHE needs to walk you through.

Sounds like your relationship is the main issue. Controlling partners are never conducive to a happy relationship.

I'd suggest trying couples therapy if you want it to work. If she doesn't cooperate, it's over.

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get a jobby job and move out..Certainly sounds you have more problems than just some other guy, you are pushing away, that you need to focus on first.

This is honestly the best advice I’ve gotten on these comments. Thank you. I want to work on myself but the fears hurt so much. I genuinely want him to be happy. I’m going to reflect on your advice. Thank you

Do they not know exactly when you're moving? What does the lease say? Have you given them enough time to find another roomie? Can they afford the rent without you?

How can you have an exclusive FWB. Get a grip

am I throwing away a good thing?

You aren't happy, you both feel like you are friends vs. partners, you want to take more serious steps in the relationship, he doesn't and you've felt this way for 2+ years. If anything, you may have stayed too long in a relationship where the 2 of you weren't on the same page.

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Go on a craigslist and find someone who will give you a ride to Jacksonville. It's in the community section under rideshare

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Exactly... barriers need to be broken down. You cannot have a permanent wall in a relationship. There needs progress in some form.

And that is a fair conclusion. You being the one moving there, would be like you're settling for less and the bigger contributor to put things in motion.

Might have been worth to just test his POV on moving to you. If he was completely against it, then I would assume things are very one-sided.

Laughing at “exclusive FWB.” There’s no such thing.

I see what you saying, thank you :(

To be honest even if I wanted to stay with her (and I still love her for some reason so I do). She blocked me and refuses to unblock me or speak to me

But OP said they are moving toward something more serious. If she’s not over the ex, shouldn’t be moving towards something serious. Try again.

Good lord just let him love you or let him move on, and I mean that the nicest way possible, but from experience if he has genuine feelings for you and you're doing this? It's gotta hurt way more than he lets on, he WANTS TO BE WITH YOU, and you push him away, he clearly has presence of mind to think of you, and then want to to start a relationship, and he's put up with it for a whole year, I promise you someone who wants something from you and just wants to bang would not put up with you for this long, so get it together and give him your best, or let him find someone who will, I say that a bit harsh in the hopes it gives you the push you need one way or the other, but for real, mixed messages hurt when you really care

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But you guys are not in a relationship..

You're in a relationship with a girl. Sorry

It’s weird that he cares so much. Invite him to a celebratory dinner after the ceremony. That’s only part that’s fun anyways.

Who in the right fucking mind tries to propose in 3 months? What a psychopath.

>stoicism

That's can be a powder keg. Some people are not compatible with stoicism.

I do not know either of you or your situation, so my advice is suspect, but IMO he needs a change of some sort. How are you at helping the situation? Do you ignore, point it out, yell or demean, are you agreeing/enabling with him? How does that dynamic work?

She recommended I read this and I basically ignored it after she did because I assumed it was yet another narrative of how hard the SAHM life is and how its underappreciated and that society hasn't supported the reality of parenthood in our work/life balance and women get stuck holding the mental and physical coverage of this. But I have accepted all of that and very supportive of that narrative. I feel like I have done literally everything in my power to help (give her options to work or not, financially and any literally any support she needs (she chose nanny 3x a week not me), my time outside of work to help) and it hasnt really changed the situation. I will read the book since you are recommending it, but that is why I haven't yet.