Hey thanks for that. I really appreciate it. Great advice.

she is the one who doesn't want a relationship.

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Forgot to mention that to me, it doesn't matter that his friend is being nice to me. It's not even really anything to do with her, it's to do with him not discussing this with me and forcing me into an awkward situation. I'm sure it's probably awkward for her as well. I just don't see it working out and I want to go home so I'm going to call them now. Thank you very much.

From your edit: yeah I'd move on. She may not be ready and she may want one "down the line" with someone else. You're already getting hurt.

Maybe but he projects as extremely confident. Arrogant actually. He has had a traumatic past and I’ve seen him react in a volatile way to some situations but never towards me. By what he’s claiming as me being combative I’m viewing as me contradicting him or me pointing out that when he does something it’s ok but when I do it it’s a problem. I feel like I can’t win because when I’m standing up for myself I’m labeled as combative.

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I thought about offering to pay for and set up something with Rover. Both my husband and I work from home so if we are both in a meeting and she starts barking it’s been hard. She’s still a puppy so not her fault but just something we were not prepared for. Obviously my friend wasn’t expecting it either.

Okay thank you. I'm going to go outside and call them right now. I didn't think they would help me since it wasn't a clear-cut case of abuse. I thought you had to be being hit or something. It's really starting to feel like control though. I think it's more so the fact that I don't know any of his friends and he's basically forcing me into a situation that I didn't ask for. I'm not interested in getting to know his friends anymore and I just want out of the relationship.

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I would reach out and ask to see him. You two grew up together so there’s an enormous amount of history so I would hope because of that, he’d be willing to sit down and talk. Tell him everything you have said here. Then you listen because he’s shattered and you need to honor that. You didn’t do anything wrong but he still gets to be hurt. He may need some space but absolutely put your cards on the table. I think you start with… I made the biggest mistake of my life. You probably did need it though because it’s made it very clear that what you want is what you walked away from. You’ll regret it if you don’t try everything you can to just sit down and pour out your feelings.

It happens. The merciful dump you and move on. The cruel just cheat. The cowards stay and resent you. It’s not cheating. If someone meets a person they prefer and leave it just them leaving. I think you’re better of considering the options. You need someone who isn’t still looking. She obviously was keeping her options open. She isn’t LTR material.

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It really feels to me like you’re her backup boyfriend. If she can’t have her ex, maybe you’ll do.

If you were the one she wanted, she’d be ready for the relationship now. Her saying “down the road” seems to be code for “once I’m sure I can’t get my ex back and he’s moved on”.

You deserve to be the star of the relationship and not a backup dancer. Let her go explore her feelings and you go find someone who wants to be your one and only.

At least you're recognizing this now and not after she's moved in and bankrupted you. You obviously can't already plan on marrying someone you've never even dated in person (meaning lived in the same city and seen each other IRL all the time). So maybe tell her that she's welcome to move in but only once she's prepared to cover half of the bills. 30% is too low a bar if your goal is to make her prioritize and be responsible. For better or worse, a serious relationship is as much about mutual responsibility as it is about love. You can love someone to death but if they can't pull their own weight it won't work. Keep an open mind about this because if she never gets her act together you need to be willing to break up.

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A bus is only about $20. If you are unsure how to vet people on Craigslist or not comfortable with strangers, you might want to contact any of the services for women in Gainesville. Pretty sure someone would help with a ticket.

>I’m sorry, I may be showing my age here, but isn’t an “exclusive FWB” simply a wimpier half-measured way of saying partner/girlfriend?

Absolutely. But commitment-phobia is a real thing, and sometimes putting a label on it can be very scary for some people.

Hence these bizarre situation where people have sex, have "caught feelings for each other" yet pretend like they're not in a relationship.

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WHOA WHOA WHOA - Absolutely NOT, OP. Marrying a man you've dated for only 3 months? And he wants it to happen 2 months from now?!

That's not normal at ALL.

You've only had 2 "real" dates, you don't even know him yet. Not really. OP, break up with him. What he's suggesting is not healthy, you two do not know each other well enough to actually think you'll be happy for life with him, and as someone else in her 20s...you are honestly too young to get roped into a marriage where you are considered worthless.

A $15 buffet is all you're worth (to him). Honestly, probably less because I bet he'd say you shouldn't throw a wedding at all if he thought he could get you to agree to marry him with just a few witnesses and the paperwork.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

If he doesn't want a relationship with you than stop responding. Give yourself time to heal and move on from him. It'll hurt for sure but so is does staying in contact with someone who doesn't want the same.

What’s a nicer way of saying ”grow the fuck up!”?

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Thank you for your advice. It definitely gave me some clarity.