Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

area51sfailedproject OP t1_jaeng5j wrote

Reply to comment by nightowl2023 in My boyfriend (23M) is done with his partying stage but I (20F) am just beginning by area51sfailedproject

I have done drugs a few times. Honestly it is not as amazing as people think. But I really wanted to do it because HE came up with the whole idea. I like a date to Sweden and watching the northern lights or just a stargazing date wayyy more than one night drugs, don’t get me wrong. But he just stuffed my mind with this one idea of us on a crazy night smoking a joint together or something 😂

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Cabbage_Patch_Itch t1_jaenegs wrote

Reply to comment by sean20039929 in Ex dumped me (18m) and said she (18f) developed feelings for another guy she met on a dating/friends app. is this cheating? by [deleted]

Cause she’s NOT committed. I’ve been friends with these girls my whole life. Every guy is the best once they get together but somehow they are still looking for bester. And they were not receptive to advice. Some people just aren’t ready. Why do they pretend to want it and hurt people? I don’t know.

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campbell317704 t1_jaenb4w wrote

Reply to comment by ThrowRAPoloDolo in How do I 19M get over my girlfriends 18F past hookups by ThrowRAPoloDolo

Not the person you asked but was also grossed out by that part of your OP. My reason is wondering why you're so concerned what other straight men are thinking when you're supposed to be into women. Why the need to posture or have some kind of pristine Madonna on your arm to show off to other men rather than a partner that you value and values you in return being the main point of your relationship? She deserves someone who values her for her, not someone who's concerned with the optics of her having had the audacity to exist before you came along and having already been betrayed by one of the TWO men that she's trusted with that level of physical intimacy.

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Kirutaru t1_jaen3st wrote

Reply to comment by THROWRA022823 in I can’t tell if I’m the asshole(25f) or I’m being gaslight by my husband (24NB) by THROWRA022823

Well you're on a throwaway account so I wont be able to find you after much longer. You can DM me or find me anytime.

One of the things I have taken away from my ... difficult journey ... is that coming here and talking about parts of it makes it feel validated a little. The fact I can give you some comfort and reassurance makes me feel like everything I went through can be helpful to share with others.

The whole "this is just about video games" or "your jealous of video games" are deflections and gaslighting. I said some of those same things. Its very immature and it attempts to make it seem like you're unreasonable (jealous of a hobby!) because you need more partnership from your partner. Not that they're the unreasonable one because they cant do the bare minimum of doing the dishes because they have dailies on WoW to do.

I don't know how to get him to stop doing that, but I understand (now) that its not about the hobby. Its about the neglect to do everything else that isnt the hobby... like show affection, appreciation, and help out around the house once in a while. 😉 I wish I had some magic words you could say to get through that deliberate barrier, but don't believe it. Its a deflection.

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nightowl2023 t1_jaemzi6 wrote

Reply to My boyfriend (23M) is done with his partying stage but I (20F) am just beginning by area51sfailedproject

Well, I think that you should just express your concerns and look for a middle ground.

Honestly, drugs are stupid. And you should stop telling yourself that you need to do drugs to live life or have fun. All drugs are going to do is take away your ability to think and most likely result in some person taking advantage of you. Not to mention the various potential impacts they can have on your health.

But going to festivals and drinking with you totally should be something he should do with you. Even attending a party every now and then should not be a big deal.

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trishsf t1_jaemxdo wrote

Reply to bpd [f 25] x commitment issues [m 28] by pissybaka69

It’s been 2 months. He’s not a texter. Accept that. This isn’t about commitment. It’s early days. Of course he’s not fully committed. You can’t fall for someone and expect them to change. It sounds as if you are pushing too hard too early in the relationship.

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VariationX7 t1_jaemv3d wrote

Reply to Do I (M28) forgive my FWB (F27) for almost seeing someone else? by [deleted]

I don't think there is a future relationship with this person OP, so you may want to move on from that. You know if you're able to do that while still being FWB's or not, if you can't then I think you should cut if off and distance yourself completely and stick to you resolve of moving on even if she comes running back.

Dating is stupid these days with the these committed labels

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HatsAndTopcoats t1_jaemup9 wrote

Reply to I can't tell if my (f20) boyfriend (m26) thinks I'm not worth the effort, is just cheap, or both. by Legitimate-Line5849

Pretty sure what's happening here is that he just wants to be married for some reason, which is why he asked someone he barely knows and doesn't want to put any money or effort into the wedding.

He's not going to put any more effort into the marriage, either. This is not a real thing, this is him checking off a box.

You say he's a good person but you don't know who he really is. In part because you just met him and in part because he's been trying to convince you to marry him. (And even then he couldn't be bothered to get you a Valentine's Day gift? This is him at his best, dude.)

He's not trying to get citizenship, is he? That's just the most obvious ulterior motive for going through the motions of a wedding.

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