Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

Interesting-Month-56 t1_jaevdz1 wrote

I don’t know why people do this shit. Because a random letter or email with no details is just sus.

Basically you have three choices.

  1. ignore it - god knows who or why they sent it and malice and crazy are pervasive.

  2. follow your gut - don’t necessarily believe it but reflect on your relationship and behaviors and check out any threads that seem to be suspicious.

  3. talk to your SO - I don’t intend confrontation, but that’s an option. It will likely result in a denial and gaslighting if its true, anger if it’s not (and if it’s true). Possibly in violence. So be careful.

Personally I would go with option 2 first and then switch to either 1 or 3 once I had more information.

But you can’t spend your life pursuing random things, so you have to decide what to believe and when.

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kaibelf t1_jaev9so wrote

Could be something from the other party. I don't see it being something a rando just dropped in a mailbox that also included his name. It could also be a tip from a friend of yours who wants to let you know but is afraid of jeopardizing the friendship. Keep your eyes open for a couple of days and then have a discussion about it.

EDIT: Does he happen to have any kind of weird ex? It could also be someone like that who just wants to spoil his life.

63

derangermouse t1_jaev95m wrote

A year has passed since the kiss and both of you have likely moved on. Bringing it up now doesn't necessarily mean that you have feelings for him or that you are trying to start something romantic. You can approach the conversation from a place of curiosity and a desire for clarity or closure.

You could try sending him a message or arranging to meet up with him, and explain that you would like to talk about the kiss from a year ago. You can acknowledge that it was a drunken mistake and that you don't have any expectations or intentions beyond having an open and honest conversation. You could also express that you feel embarrassed to bring it up, but that you think it's important to clear the air and ensure that there are no lingering feelings or misunderstandings between you.

Before anything happens though, consider whether or not discussing this with M25 would be respectful to your current boyfriend.

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1

Vofz OP t1_jaev7x2 wrote

"She's obviously got major problems and using her bc you find her attractive is top notch douche behavior."

Thanks for the advice but I'm not using her. I always made clear that don't I want a relationship or anything serious and she kept insisting on just having sex as friends.

0

LaPakawaka t1_jaev538 wrote

I moved in with my husband the week before we got married. It was a learning curve but the desire to make it work and to be together was there on both our ends. It does not seem like he is there on his end. Relationships don’t work if only one person is in.

Say you move in with him, at what point do you think you will want a proposal or kids? Are you willing to commit to the relationship long term knowing he will drag his feet for an undetermined amount of time? How long are you willing to be unhappy for?

6

HHIOTF t1_jaev1kz wrote

You don't have any friends? For real? You definitely should make some if you don't have any. That isn't healthy at all.

Since I don't know what your BF said, I can't judge if he's out of line. Not sure what talking crap is.

2