[removed]

[removed]

>I realize in reading it that I am hoping for someone to call me on my BS and tell me directly what I could do differently or what I am not seeing.

That’s understandable. You've invested a lot of yourself into a 6 year relationship and you're hoping someone will see something you aren't so that you can be given something to fix or a way to fix it because your only options at this point are to live with it or accept defeat.

This is a her problem, though, and not something you can fix for her.

It's really unfair for you to be made the scapegoat of her lack of boundaries and inability to communicate, to be made to feel as if you are doing something wrong because she has an unrealistic expectation of you being able to simply sense what she wants/needs and act accordingly with absolutely zero input from her. It's too much to ask for her to put the responsibility of her boundaries on to you. Not just respecting a well-communicated boundary, but formulating and enforcing them for her. It's not fair to you that your attempts at connecting with her are practically dismissed with an implication that meeting you at that halfway point is on par with humouring a toddler helping to "wash the dishes" (you know you'll end up with more of a mess than what you began with and probably a broken dish, but its cute that they wanted to try).

If she can't or refuses to communicate and also refuses to accept the suggestion of help in learning how to do so in your relationship, while simultaneously lowkey laying all the blame and responsibility of that on you... I don't see any of this changing. You'll get burned out trying to shoulder the whole relationship, if you haven't already.

yah, you can't make the relationship work..You want something she doesn't. You will always want that. ps. your deleted history leads me to believe you are in fact not a stockbroker and this is made up...best of luck.

[removed]

She’s 25 and not comfortable with sex. Move on. She needs a therapist, not a boyfriend.

I never asked him to text me constantly, I just asked for updates. To knows he’s okay. Me being upset comes from him saying he’s staying the night somewhere and then I found out he stayed somewhere else and he didn’t tell me nor did he plan on telling. How would you feel if your significant other said they were staying at a friends house and you found out they were staying at some random person’s house? The anger also comes from him telling me he’s on his way home from somewhere and showing up three hours later when it’s a 25 minute drive, his word were “we are getting in the truck to leave right now and do not to worry about eating dinner alone.”

I want to repeat I’m not angry that he goes out I’m angry about the lack of communication. But I guess according to you I’m the bad guy and communicating isn’t important in relationships.

[removed]

"When you make jokes like these, it tells me that you have those other sexual encounters on your mind and are comfortable reliving them for jokes and likes. As your partner, it is my strong preference that you not air out past sexual experiences on the internet while you and I are in a committed relationship. This is not a gendered issue, nor proof of underlying misogyny, as I also believe it would be fully unacceptable for me to behave this way too. I am happy to support you, and as an advocate for women's rights, I fully believe it is a woman's prerogative to have as much sex with as many people as she wants. I am not debating any of that. I'm not coming to you as some troll on the internet trying to police your right to express yourself. I am coming to you as your boyfriend, your committed partner, with a problem I'm having about your behavior. Please don't dismiss my discomfort."

Like everyone else is stating a 2 months old relationship that is already causing you to rant such a long text wall on reddit where everything sounds like it's not really working out is probably not worth the stress.

>It bothers her when I don’t look after things the way she looks after things, and it bothers me that she doesn’t live a chill life and want to bicker about these tiny things like not using a coaster, being too loud unintentionally, or not putting things back to where they belong.

Not sure what "being too loud unintentionally" has to do with the rest of this, Upset-Rooster-1655, but none of this seems unreasonable to me. (Use the coaster! Pick up after yourself and put things where they belong!)

>I want to care about her house like it’s mine, I don’t honestly know how to stop being clumsy, how to put the oven gloves in right particular positions, not to leave a bread crumb ever on the floor, or be always sophisticated basically.

What does "being clumsy" mean in this context? (Or "be always sophisticated", for that matter?) And how does it relate to sweeping the kitchen floor more often?

>I want to make this relationship work and go back to the fun mode.

Does "fun mode" mean no responsibility for the maintenance of your shared living space?

What do you think might help "make this relationship work" and is it showing respect for her house and belongings and cleaning up after yourself?

[removed]

“Dating dad never works out” This is great and so, so true

[removed]

[removed]

Firstly he is disrespectful if he is constantly changing his plans when he is out. It is inconsiderate of him if you don’t know if he’ll be home at 1am or 8am the next day.

Secondly you are better off not being together, his actions show he is immature and not ready for a relationship like what you want. He may be a wonderful guy in most areas but he is in his party phase and he will continue to resent you because you “cramp his style”. He is going to need to learn his lessons the hard way and sadly that will probably be doing something stupid while drunk and ruining his reputation or possibly his life, if he is that kind of wild drunk, it doesn’t end well.

Third, you can’t change him or show him anything that he doesn’t want to see. My ex wife was very much into party lifestyle when we met, I was not. I told her early in dating that I wasn’t going to go party with her and I don’t want a girlfriend that goes out partying all the time and that she is absolutely welcome to keep partying and I’d wish her all the luck and be glad I met her but I wouldn’t date her. She told me she appreciated how stable I was and she should probably give it up because it wasn’t fulfilling. Fast forward a number of years of marriage and it turns out she still resented me for “forcing” her to give up parties and she missed out on years of being able to party and let loose. So my advice is that you are best just let the relationship go and don’t say anything about not trusting him. He was at the least disrespectful if not outright manipulative to make you worry than use your guilt against you to do the whole, don’t you trust me, thing.

He's 22 and likes to go out partying with his friends. You're at home angry every time he goes out. This was never going to work.

Personally, if I had a girlfriend who wanted me to text constantly every time I went out, and got angry if I went somewhere else while out, I'd break up too. I don't need a mother nagging me. Getting into fights that often is not a sign of a relationship worth being in.

[removed]

[removed]

Please please leave this man. Its horrendously abusive. The ONLY reason a 37 year old would want to be in a relationship with an 18 year old is control.

I'm 37f and I went to a bar a couple of weeks ago, I looked around and thought 'my goodness, this place is full of kids'. Adults do not generally want to hang out with teenagers, especially ones young enough to be their kid.

I appreciate your directness.
I realize in reading it that I am hoping for someone to call me on my BS and tell me directly what I could do differently or what I am not seeing.

I realize also that's something I have internalized over the last 6 years - it's me, all I have control over is me, I can do better. I am grasping for what that is, though.

Maybe it is in vain.

He wants to go out every weekend. Like he would honestly probably go out every Friday and Saturday if he could and he probably will now. He was a huge party guy in high school and I met him just after he graduated. After starting to date me he chilled out a lot. He now goes out 1-2 times a month. When my gut issues started though we/he didn’t go out for 2 months. I think that’s what really tipped him over the edge. When fighting he said he hasn’t gone out because he didn’t want to deal with how I respond.

>How do I effectively meet the needs of and communicate with a Giver who is unable to articulate their needs and expects them to be met without communicating?

Now, I'm no psychotherapist, but even I know you can't do that, especially when the things you do attempt to do without any prompting or feedback are never enough.

I fail to see how you're nothing but a "taker" when you've made innumerable attempts at giving what you think she may need, asking what she needs and even suggesting counseling to try to break the communication barrier. Sounds like a classic way to lay all the blame of her shortcomings in the relationship on you so she can avoid having to address her own issues. Either that, or she's upset you aren't a mind reader - which I don't think I need to point out is a totally unrealistic expectation.

Honestly, this just sounds toxic. She is setting you up to "fail", letting it go on for months and then exploding on you. Rinse and repeat. I am thinking she may not really be in the best place to be in a relationship.

That's fair.I am holding out hope that there is something I am doing wrong or could do differently. Or that, if I am patient, the behavior will change. The lack of communication which causes the lack of boundaries doesn't cause issues only between us, but in her whole life. The 12 hour job and demanding family are only two examples.

Your question is a good one, and very difficult to sit with. I appreciate it though.

Op, he was very disrespectful of you and your time. How often does he go out with friends and to parties?