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Going off your comment/post history, I don’t blame your wife.

The marriage should be over, she deserves better.

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Say of course we can be friends. Then ask her out on a date.

As a skinny person who eats like crap, BMI isn't a sole indicator of health, but being over a certain weight range does take a toll on the human body. And the obesity paradox in medicine is about warped data - people who are overweight have a lower mortality rate and higher chance of recovery in things like strokes and heart attacks because overweight people get their first heart issues and strokes at a far younger age than people who haven't been overweight in their lives.

If both of us were to get the exact same kind of cancer at the same time and both lose 25 kg in radiation treatments, naturally I would be far more likely than he to die from it, but the odds of that happening are not the same.

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I wasn't planning on lying to him, but the problem is breaking out the truth in a way that wouldn't needlessly hurt his feelings.

And his food problem is more about quality than quantity, nutrition dense fast foods - which our mutual meals unfortunately often are since neither of us really has the time or energy to cook real meals - have - have way more calories than the same amount of food in a healthy meal. He's not an emotional eater or anything, but it's a matter of their convenience, habits he learned at home, and being a picky eater who doesn't really enjoy cooking.

If I handle this wrong and hurt his feelings he might just stop eating altogether and be both sick and miserable, which is something he absolutely could and would do. And no, I cannot wrangle his ass into therapy to learn how to handle his feelings better, either. I've tried, and accepted that it's not a choice I can make on his behalf.

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Unbelievable. I’m surprised he hasn’t connected any dots especially after deleting the posts. I’d be surprised if she didn’t divorce. At his partners most vulnerable time he decides to plan to be unfaithful and sleep with just about any woman and is willing to travel to them. Pathetic

You should acknowledge the reality that she still only wants a friendship. If you're good with that, then be friends, but you're logically not. That's perfectly fine, but you need to be honest about it.

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first of all BMI is bullshit so it's not possible to tell if either of you are healthy also weight has nothing to do with health. Lots of overweight people eat healthy an work out while lots of skinny or low bmi people eat like crap .

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I think OP meant lobotomy.

Is this New York’s hottest club because this post has everything! Age gap, dildos, ass eating, forgotten penis, domestic violence, petite and feminine fingers, hospitalization, and an old meat pocket. All that’s missing is MTVs Dan Cortez.

It took over 3 years for my wife to recover from severe Post-partum depression, it wasn't that dissimilar meds didn't seem to help but counciling did a bit and then one day it started getting better and better and that was 5 years ago. It was a lot of loving the unlovely parts of her but I stuck it out.

I know the kind of situation you are in but I certainly don't know exactly. I remember the bad months, the times I persevered against all odd and hownshe still weeps in thankfulness that i didnt stop loving her during the worst of it.

I can't tell you what you need to do, and if she's struggling with depression she probably can't tell you either so take what advice you see on here, find people to help support you and remember to take time to breathe when the walls start closing in.

Big hugs OP 🫂 I know it is awful but I hope you find a way through💙

Gonna go with your friends on this one - he's abusive. What you've described here is textbook abuse and you don't deserve that. Get away from this dude ASAP.