Why are you both screwing around with a 45 year old man?

"I frequently down load dating apps by accident, register, upload carefully curated photos, fill in a bio and start liking women all without my knowledge. Sometimes, and this is really odd, I end up on dates with them and I don't even know how I got there.

It's weird, you know. So glad you are understanding."

His dad is around and still in the house but had a health scare and is now disabled, so I don’t know if that has something to do with his mum and him being the way they are?

Look, as someone who considers my husband to be my best friend, let me tell you what true love is.

True love is not a turbulent whirlwind of excitement and adrenaline. True love has the same vibe of sitting cuddled up in a warm cosy cabin with a fire burning in the hearth and snow gently falling outside the window. It's not meant to be a rush of excitement. It's meant to be comfortable. My relationship with my husband is exactly that. Warm and comfortable and relaxing and gentle and safe. It's not about always wanting to jump into bed with each other. It's wanting to always be side by side. To hold each other. To respect each other. To be forever comfortable and warm in each other's presences.

The "high" of being constantly wild and turbulent is not true love. It's lust/infatuation. It's being obsessed with the idea of a person (or the perfect image you have of that person when they aren't showing their flaws), not actually bonding with them as a soulmate.

But, that said,

It's only been six months. Now is NOT the time to get married.

You need to spend longer together, to truly know each other and your relationship. Because yes, sometimes things will fizzle out, or you will notice flaws that weren't present during the honeymoon period.

And what I will say is this: you personally need more time to learn what a healthy relationship feels like. It's not a good idea to immediately latch on to the first person you have found a healthy relationship with just because you're finally in a place of emotional safety.

I am not saying break up. I am saying do give your relationship a chance, but put off things like marriage or major commitments until you know you're ready and that your partner really is the one, and that you're not just clinging to him because he's the only person who's ever provided a healthy safe relationship for you.

Do you work? Are you in school?

Well that sounds better than this situation. Don't you see what he did? He isolated you so that your only option is to stay with him. You need to leave. Unless your mother is abusive then I think it'd be wise to go back there and reevaluate things.

Stop watching that garbage - it only perpetuates these awful views about women like they will cheat and that will negatively impact your relationship being so insecure and untrusting all the time

Basically yeah. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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But then I would be essentially homeless, I can’t go back to my mother because I would go insane and my dad is out of the picture. But I suppose I would have to go back to my mother until I can gather enough money that’s the only way.

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As long as you can verify and be sure the person isn't catfishing or lying about who they are in some way it should be fine.

I also don't really use or care about traditional social media... it's not that uncommon tbh.

He doesn’t have to do anything at all he doesn’t want to. Hes able to be independent like an adult, but I’m reality he’s being coddled like a teenage boy.

Also sounds like an awful case of enmeshment/emotional incest. Where’s his dad at?

You would have liked to be included, but you weren't and you let him know it bothered you. This seems like a normal reaction, since in the past he's been excited to share ideas and plans leading up to it and this time it was just a statement of this is happening.

It doesn't seem like you're upset about the tattoo, just the fact you weren't included in the way you were accustomed to. And frankly I would be hurt by that too.

If he doesn't get how that would upset you, there may be more to talk about as to how you communicate within your relationship.

Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our rules here. We'd like to take this time to remind users that:

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• Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)

• ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.

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• All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.

• What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. This is not an all-inclusive list.

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You move out and break up with him

Red pills dudes have an audience of mostly dudes who can’t get women. They give AWFUL dating advice and are very off base about women. They give this awful advice to keep you single, and then going to them for more advice.

Block to red pill accounts or hit not interested when they pop up. Trust your girlfriend and maybe talk to someone about your insecurities

I think he is definitely a mamas boy and I think he likes being one so I think you’re right

Yeah I’ve been thinking that but idk what to do

You shouldn't get engaged to anyone after only six months in, even if your sparks are so big they're catching the roof on fire.

You also shouldn't get engaged if you're not truly.happy with the way the relationship makes you feel and you're eager to feel that way forever.

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It’s sad to see how social media became big influence on people , they think someone doesn’t have social media means red flag … your friends just being weird , and it’s not red flag.

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