Recent comments in /f/relationship_advice

ThrowRAMaybePlatonic OP t1_jeexob2 wrote

Reply to comment by SecretHoliday1752 in My (26f) relationship with my fiance (24m) has always felt like friendship by ThrowRAMaybePlatonic

Mmmm, well it's more of a cultural thing I think. I'm from North America, he's from East Asia. In the area we live in now, it's pretty standard that people get engaged quickly. I've told him about my customs in my home country, and he's willing to wait it out as long as we need - I did tell him I needed more time until we get married.

My therapist has reassured me that this relationship is GOOD for me, and that it will take time to learn what love is supposed to feel like, as opposed to lust - as other commenters have pointed out. I didn't want to turn down the proposal and make him think that I was rejecting him - but we did have a conversation afterwards.

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Creative_Recover t1_jeexcdy wrote

Reply to comment by 8vox8 in I (26f) haven't had sex with my fiancé (27m) for longer than I can remember by 8vox8

Then why are you so admantly convinced that he cares about you as much as you do him?

I think you need to face up to the fact here that you are very poor at forming boundaries and that your partner simply isn't that invested in your relationship. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you as much as you do them.

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UsuallyWrite2 t1_jeex6e9 wrote

Reply to My (M25) GF (F24) said she's done by RaelowTV

Then let her be done and get her out of there so you’re not dealing with her drama and lack of employment. Why the hell couldn’t she fill the cat feeders since she’s home on her ass all day? Seems to me that she is just picking fights out of boredom or needing to feel in control.

She sounds like a real PITA with her sketchy employment history and communication approach.

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YourRAResource t1_jeewz3b wrote

Reply to My (M25) GF (F24) said she's done by RaelowTV

One situation has nothing to do with the other. You tell her you're frustrated that she's not working or even trying. She responds by saying there are things you don't do. Does that change the fact that she's not working?

I'm sure there are things you need to work on, and you should take whatever measures necessary to do so. But let's just focus on her for a minute. She's unreliable and immature. You're logically going to have to support her for as long as you're together. You need to decide if you're good with that or not.

If not, call her bluff with her saying she's done. Tell her "good." When she almost certainly reverses course, you should actually be done with her. Good luck.

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Gosc101 t1_jeewqmr wrote

Reply to (22f) (23m) been together for 3 years mother in law accusing me of cheating am I just supposed to drop it and let it go? by [deleted]

Do I need to state the obvious? He doesn't value you enough, and takes you for granted.

Without proper respect for each other, and placing each other before your families relationship has no future. Well it has no future that isn't toxic.

He should defend you to his mother, express he is upset, and her behaviour is awful, and openly malicious.

Alternatively, if he really wants to ve able to stay where he is, the very least he should do is to admit to you how terrible his mother is.

If you want this relationship to survive you need to explain it to him, but he is likely to deflect.

Honestly what you really need is to move out of there, if he wants to be with, he needs to follow you in this. If you need sone time that us fine, pretend everything is fine, while already working to find other place to live.

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Reply to My (M25) GF (F24) said she's done by RaelowTV

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