Its all well and good having a hobby but it seems like that hobby takes a lot of time away from your relationship. If your compromise is "3 days a week" it sounds like it would be every night you would rather spend time talking to your friends / strangers on a stream than spend time with your girlfriend?

Do you guys do anything she likes doing as a hobby? Do you ever have time when your both unplugged from the internet and just together? She might like video games but it sounds like she enjoys them casually, whereas your life is built around them? When you said you enjoy doing it in your free time when single is fine, but in a relationship now is that still the case?

I am not saying give up your hobby completely, or give up talking to your friends, but a good relationship requires attention. If I was her I would feel pretty lonely if you preferred spending time online with people than in person with me every night.

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Well you know you can't stay with him, and in this place in general. It won't get better, so you need a way out.

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I tried warning her again right now in a subtle way that if he wanted to be with her, he would do things different and her response was “you think I’m stupid? I know this isn’t my first rodeo (jokes) and claims that she doesn’t want anything with him other than fun sex

Mmm, thank you for your comment.

In his culture, it's pretty standard to get engaged quickly if those values of compatibility I mentioned in the post align. In my North American culture, it's different. We had another conversation about it since and he's willing to wait.

As for the obsession aspect - I want to be with him all the time. I think that's a part of me that I need to unlearn in what my understanding is of a healthy relationship. You're right though - it is dysfunctional in the fact that I'm a bit unsure about what a healthy relationship looks like.

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Did you have a reason, besides your past, to catfish your own boyfriend?

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Then go talk to your best friend and show her all the evidence that he is seeing both of you.

This guy is no good. Already 45 and still a player and using women.

Do all you can to warn your best friend, the rest is up to her.

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wow, his version of friendly is fucking? i wonder if you did that with a man, would he still consider it friendly? he'll be back soon and make you beg for his presence in your life, don't do it. feelings < respect, loyalty and avoiding the risk of std's.

So are you exclusive BF and GF or just hooking up?

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I don’t want to snoop. He had it up on his screen and I asked for clarification. I’ve been a snooper in the past and know it doesn’t bring anything positive.

I’m asking him to verify what he says, which is that the messages are nothing, and he refuses. Which he has every right to do. I just don’t think I can forgive a situation I don’t even know the full magnitude of… I suppose I’m also a bit afraid of being taken advantage of.

Did you ask her?

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You shouldn't have agreed to get back with him when you hadn't forgiven him for what he did and there were no signs that anything had fundamentally improved. I think that it would be better for you if you get more realistic about how you actually feel than continuing on in this relationship (which as it currently stands, also sounds deeply unpleasant to be in and virtually a non-relationship).

Don't stoop to his level. With each passing day you are just wasting more of your time, heart and youth in your relationship, you need to break up.

I just confronted him. He denied everything and said I don’t need a crazy jealous gf. And he blocked me. I’m sure he’s gonna go running to my best friend now because he’s lonely and just wants to fuck around

Can you feel comfortable with someone that doesn't trust you and doesn't know themselves?

It's one issue for her to feel insecure but without her own personal drive to figure herself out and overcome those fears. They just become growing issues to you.

This has nowhere good to go, for you or her.

What's the point in her dating someone she doesn't trust? (Because that's ultimately the case.)

IDK in this case, is just avoidance without resolution.

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He doesn’t understand why I’m upset, he said “she just wants to look out for me, she saw weird behavior and wanted to make sure nothing is going on” like that’s just harmless???? Like questioning my integrity isn’t going to make me feel some type of way?