Maybe it’s cause I’m autistic and have ADHD, but when someone tells me something about them i that’s seems important like their favorite color or food , or seven something I notice I try to make a note of it . Usually in the notes sections of their page of my phone contacts

You are enabling her. Split the finances, and make it clear how much she is expected to contribute monthly. Do not pay her share. Let her know she has to keep a job and pay her portion and that you will separate. No excuses. She has therapy if she needs it. She does this because you allow it.

this. Age is just a number but abuse is more common with age gaps and this is absolutely abusive whether OP’s girlfriend is 56 or 26. She’s taught him that age makes her smarter than him and in charge of him. This is a textbook abusive relationship

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No, we were well on our way to being in a relationship we both knew what we wanted I just wanted to wait a little longer to be sure I knew that type of person he was. Which clearly he hid too well.

You don't think if you dated somebody who made you feel great about yourself and gave you amazing sex you would think less about other dude? You should try it- you'll be surprised.

Woman don't like to ever have their behavior checked. It's 100% inappropriate for her to be giving out her number to random guys. Just like it would be 100% inappropriate for you to be asking for numbers from random women.

The fact that she still pulls stunt like this at 30 is a huge red flag.

Her playing games in your community isn't the sort of social contact she needs though. Whilst this might be enough for you, for many people it is not. You also need more than just meal time together. When was the last time you went out on a date, like going to a theme park or zoo together?

You do sound very caring, but do you think your GF might be suffering from depression? It's not healthy for someone to be so socially isolated and un-engaged with life. Does your GF work? Does she have any interests?

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I wouldn't deal with a guy like that. He should have been upfront with that information. If he's sleeping with someone and building a relationship with you, you deserve to know that. I avoid guys with no integrity.

Like how does this work?

You just talked and were friendly for 3 month, and then you started seriously dating the month after or?

Be more direct with her and if she blows you off, maybe think twice about the state if your friendship with her.

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Theres some good ideas there. You may not like reading but it sounds like she didnt like but still tried your hobby so give it a go. Theres a happy medium ground, maybe get some video game related books that you might enjoy reading more?

>I feel like I see my friends online (Specifically the ones we've seen get married) and as a couple they love doing the online thing as a couple.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Those couples might both enjoy those things, but it sounds like your partner doesnt. Thats not a bad thing. It sounds like shes more of an in-person social person rather than online.

>Perhaps though, this is just not something my girlfriend does not want to do and would rather be offline. Maybe I need to further reduce my online time but having come from doing this every evening, down to 3 evenings a week seems like a big compromise on my part.

It can be hard transitioning from a single lifestyle full of time for hobbies to in a relationship, but there is a balance that can be made. At the moment I imagine she feels like shes only there to have the intimate parts of the relationship.

As a straight to the point question, on an average evening at home, would you rather spend time with your partner, or be online with your friends? Theres no wrong answer.

Since you've already made some grave mistakes here (dating a 20 y.o., getting her pregnant) all you can really do is wait for her brain to develop fully and hope that as a truly grown adult she understands that kids do better when their parents are together. Unfortunately you can't rewind the clock and choose a more appropriate partner nor take more rational means in terms of birth control.

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I think your need to test him in the first place says you were not ready for a serous relationship.

If he has said no the the test, but found out it was you later?

Not a great way to grow a healthy relationship

This is part of how I feel as well. Unless I'm available she doesn't want to do her own thing or hobby.

Thank you! And yeah, that’s EXACTLY what I’d do. If he’s truly got nothing to hide, or anything he’s worried about, he would have shown you. However, you know he’s going to delete those threads now, right?

This isn’t okay. Here’s the real question. Is this a dealbreaker? It would be for me. I would be clear. I will not be the sole support for us. I can’t be. She has no business doing anything but looking for a job right now. You need to have a serious discussion. Don’t give any ultimatum that you aren’t willing to follow through on. I’m sorry this is happening.

uhhhh oki sure

I agree she doesn't seem to want to be a part of this. At the same time though I'm literally her only outlet socially. Sometimes she talks to her Mom but that's about it. I feel like it's unbalanced in that regard. I never consumed myself every day completely. I do nearly all the cooking, have a meal ready for her and we sit down and talk about the day. And even on the days I stream / play games there is always 1-2 hours (sitting down for a meal) in between.

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